Carpe Diem

Best & Worst of Pregnancy

2012-01-25T10:45:00.000-05:00

Five of the best things about being pregnant:

(1) Knowing that at the end of 10 months we'll have a child. SO. EXCITING. I just can't wait to meet and hold our son and see Blake be a daddy. This is such a blessing that I wonder how it is that my mind too often focuses on the worst things about being pregnant.

(2) It gives me an immediate common ground with a lot of women, and it's been fun to see people I don't normally connect with feel excited for me and interested in sharing their pregnancy/parenting experiences.

(3) It's been a reminder of how loved we are by friends and family as they want to celebrate our son and help us prepare for his arrival. It's amazing how much stuff such a small person needs, and so many people have given us necessities and adorable baby things.

(4) Feeling Jackson move. It's still a bit weird to me, but I love wondering what he's doing in there and knowing that he's active. The other day I had a fluffernutter sandwich for lunch, and he went crazy....I think he may have a sweet tooth like me :)

(5) It means I'm quitting my job soon! Valentine's Day is my last day unless Jackson decides to bless us with his presence before then.

Five of the Worst Things about being Pregnant (that are blog appropriate):

(1) Skin problems. My skin hasn't been this greasy...ever. Even my hair is greasier. And I've had acne on my chest, back, neck, and face....yes, it's lovely.

(2) Fat face...and thighs. I really notice how chubby my face has gotten when I see photographs of myself. Not attractive. I guess I just can't gain 30+ pounds and not expect some of it to be in my face? This blog post made me feel better and reminded me that I'm not alone. Fat thighs are also a bummer. I expected my belly to get bigger, but why are my pants tight in my thighs too?

(3) Backaches. These started in November and usually begin around 1:00 p.m. on any day that I work or overdo it at home. Nothing seems to help except leaning back in a fully supported position, which is obviously hard to do at work.

(4) Maternity clothes: Don't even get me started. I'm sure if I were willing to spend lots of money and hours shopping (and driving to cities that have stores with maternity sections or trying to find regular clothes that cover my growing bump) I could look much more presentable, but since I'm not I'm looking really uncute these days.

(5) Feeling out of control. I know this is my ugly vanity rearing its head again, but I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit that it's been challenging to adjust to sometimes rapid weight gain and out of control appetite. There have been days and weeks when I feel like a bottomless pit and never feel satisfied, and then there have been weeks where I really watch what I eat and still gain 2-3 pounds. It's made me feel out of control at times and has frustrated me, especially since I feel like I should be grateful and not begrudging these pregnancy symptoms. After all this baby is an absolutely tremendous blessing. I thought I would watch my weight gain and only gain 25 pounds since I normally manage my weight fairly easily, but I've already gained 35 pounds and don't feel like I've had a lot of control over it.

Fortunately pregnancy is coming to an end soon. My due date is February 22, and based on physical exams, my doctor thinks Jackson is likely to come 2-3 weeks early. I'm so ready to meet him!

p.s. I'm grateful that the Lord has blessed us with this baby and that I've had such an uneventful and relatively easy pregnancy.

2011 Recap

2012-01-22T21:49:00.000-05:00

What a year! I thought 2010 was eventful with our engagement, wedding, and first six months of marriage, but 2011 was every bit as exciting and full of memorable events.

January: The year began with a really fun snow and sledding. Then we bought a house and immediately began remodeling. Blake, my step-father, and brother-in-law laid our new hardwood floors. We did lots of painting with help from friends. While the house needed LOTS of work, it couldn't have been in a more perfect location and we liked the layout and potential...and the price. So blessed to have found it before it even went on the market and without involving realtors.

February: We did more remodeling and had beautiful crown molding and baseboards installed. And then we moved into our home. Unfortunately 8 days after we moved in a storm came through and blew a very large tree onto our house, causing substantial damage and requiring us to immediately move out.

March: We lived in a hotel for almost two weeks, and then we moved into an apartment. March was absolutely exhausting as we met with our first insurance adjuster for over five hours one afternoon, met with a joke of a structural engineer hired by our insurance company, and began meeting with contractors. Highlights of the month were how well Blake and I worked together during such a stressful situation and how blessed we were by having flexible jobs that allowed us to deal with the constant meetings, phone calls, emails, etc. that were necessary. We were also assigned a new adjuster as we had gotten nowhere with our first adjuster in the 5 or so weeks since the tree hit our home.

April: This month was another blur as we continued meeting with and emailing our insurance adjuster and contractor in an attempt to begin the repairs our home. It felt like we were living in a cave as our time continued to be consumed by the insurance battle and the stress.

May: FINALLY construction began on our home (and we came to an agreement with our insurance company that exceeded the company's initial estimate by almost $50,000), and we could see an end in sight. Such an answer to prayers! We headed to Pawley's Island at the end of the month for my law firm's second annual retreat there and enjoyed having a 3 bedroom condo all to ourselves. My sister and her family joined us for a few days, and it was a nice get-away even if I did have to work several hours for several days.

June: The day before Father's Day I found out that I was pregnant, which was of course terribly exciting. Such an absolute blessing, and we couldn't have been more thrilled. It was wonderful to see Blake's reaction to the news, and we were able to tell his father on Father's Day and he kept exclaiming "You couldn't have given me a better gift." Since I can't keep a secret we told our close friends and family, which was super fun. We celebrated our first marriage anniversary, and Blake surprised me with an awesome trip to the Grove Park Inn. To say I loved the spa would be an understatement. I spent about 8 hours there and can't wait to go back. We also saw lots of progress with our home remodeling.

July: We finally got power back to our home and a move-in date seemed imminent. We ended up paying for a lot of additional renovations to our home like replacing the siding with Hardie board, updating the upstairs bathroom, rescreening the back porch, and adding railings. Morning sickness also began, but thankfully it wasn't too terrible. I had my first prenatal/OBGYN appointment, and we were able to see our baby. That was a relief since the first 12 weeks were definitely a scary time.

August: Our fantastic friends helped us move for the third time in 6 months, and we couldn't have been more delighted to be back in our home. Thatcher loved having a big yard again, and we liked being back in a house in a neighborhood and next door to our good friends. We breathed a sigh of relief as the first trimester (and higher risk of miscarriage) came to an end too.

September: At our 15 week appointment we learned that our baby is a boy! We already had our names chosen, so it was really fun to begin calling our son by his name--Jackson (my maiden name). And my baby bump began showing. We bought a lot of backporch furniture this month and began thoroughly enjoying our screened in porch. We visited my mother's hometown for a family reunion, and Blake finally got to see my family's land (way out in the country) and enjoy the pond and 4-wheeling. It was fun to see what a country dog Thatcher could be too.

October: I felt Jackson move for the first time...so exciting! And sort of weird too. We hosted our neighborhood's "Thirsty Thursday" this month and enjoyed having 20 plus neighbors over for appetizers, dessert, and drinks. We had our first tricker-or-treaters, which we really enjoyed.

November: Blake had surgery to correct his deviated septum and open up his sinuses to permit drainage. He's had terrible problems with sinus infections, breathing, etc. over the last few years, and this painful surgery has really helped. We're so thankful we could afford to have it done and to finally have some relief for him. We also hosted our first (two) Thanksgiving meals...one traditional with Blake's family (with a lot of help from Fresh Market) and a low-country boil with my family. And my sisters threw my first baby shower for baby Jackson, and we received absolutely precious clothes, blankets, bibs, and other things to help prepare for his arrival.

December: We enjoyed our first Christmas in our home and hosted a Christmas party for our friends. The joys of the third trimester of pregnancy began with backaches and difficulty putting on socks :) And we realized that next year we're going to have slow down more around Chrstimas Day so we can celebrate Jessus more and not just give each other our "leftovers" after going from one family meal to another. We ended 2011 with our closest friends in Chattanooga in a cabin--delicious food, wonderful fellowship, and a reminder of God's goodness.

And as we enter 2012 we eagerly anticipate becoming parents to "baby Jack" as my niece Mallie calls him. We're working on the nursery, trying to get our ducks in a row, and probably have no idea how much our hearts are going to expand with love and joy when we meet our son. I can't wait to see Blake as a dad and couldn't be more thankful to begin this journey with him.

p.s. I'm thankful for a new year and hope your 2012 is your best year yet.

Spoiled Thatch, Spaghetti Squash, and Sweatpants

2011-10-24T10:45:00.000-05:00

So this week Jackson is slightly longer than a spaghetti squash (these fruit/vegetable analogies crack me up), and I'm realizing more and more of what a challenge we're going to have with our dog Thatcher when Jackson arrives. We let Thatcher get away with a lot because he's so adorable, but it seems like it's time to be more strict with him. Unfortunately I think Blake and I have both been more lax with him lately because we feel badly about how dethroned he'll feel once our baby arrives. We're not worried about him hurting Jackson as Thatcher has been around babies and young children with no issues other than licking them too much; rather we're concerned about Thatcher being jealous and barking--like when we're holding Jackson and there isn't room in our lap for Thatcher. Short of carrying around a baby doll to get Thatcher used to something else having our attention, I'm not really sure what to do to prepare him prior to Jackson's arrival. Any ideas?

As for sweatpants, if you're looking for a slightly dressier alternative, you should try maternity pants.

p.s. I'm thankful that I can feel Jackson kick now. The night of my last post I felt him for the first time, and it was so strange. I'm getting used to it now and love knowing he's moving around.

10 Things

2011-10-06T14:57:00.000-05:00

(1) We're halfway there! I'm 20 weeks pregnant today.

(2) I've told my bosses that I'm not returning to work after Jackson's birth (because they asked)...and I'm thrilled to be able to stay at home. Heck, I'd love to stay at home right now with Thatcher :) He needs love too.

(3) I still haven't felt Jack (at least to my knowledge), and last week I learned that I have an anterior placenta which means I'll feel his movement later than I would otherwise.

(4) I want to do some before and after posts to show the house progress, but I'm evidently too lazy to take and upload photos. We're not doing a good job with the belly bump photos either....

(5) This weather is fantastic and makes me really grateful for the good job Blake did with our screened in backdoor porch and for the great deals we got on our outdoor furniture (yeah for Pottery Barn outlet having the same things as the regular Pottery Barn but for a fraction of the cost).

(6) I finally got to take Blake to my family's land in South Georgia for some 4-wheeling fun. He and Thatcher loved it! I couldn't believe what a little country dog Thatch became.

(7) There's definitely room in the maternity clothing market for a reasonably priced, well-made line of clothing, particularly for professionals. Why is it that retailers think that now that I'm getting big that I want to wear teal and lavender (to the exclusion of colors like white and gray), loud prints, and cheaply made clothes?

(8) It's depressing, but I really like The Civil Wars' "Poison and Wine."

(9) Over a year later and I'm still addicted to Words with Friends. Leave your username if you'd like to play.

(10) I think my blog was more interesting when I had dating stories, but I do not miss the drama and sometimes ridiculousness of dating.

p.s. I'm grateful that I'm not working tomorrow and am heading to Nashville for fun with great friends.

We're Having a Boy!!

2011-09-12T21:01:00.000-05:00

The day before Father's Day I found out that I was pregnant--just in time to give Blake an early Father's Day present. I wrapped up the positive pregnancy test and put it in a gift bag along with a card from Thatcher, and upon opening, Blake asked me "What does this mean?" I found his response hilarious as the test clearly identifies what two pink lines mean, and my husband has an engineering background and usually has no problem reading any test results. Needless to say he was ecstatic but cautiously so (he wasn't sure the test was reliable:). It became more real for him when we visited the doctor a few weeks later and were able to see our miracle on the ultrasound screen. Such a sweet relief to see the heartbeat.

Since then we've been able to see our baby two more times, and on our last visit we learned that our baby is a boy. We're naming him Jackson Ty. Jackson is my maiden name. We chose his middle name because I called my great uncle--"Uncle Ty"--as I couldn't pronounce Chester. I'm not sure how I came up with "Ty" (maybe because he often wore ties?), but it stuck and we all called him Uncle Ty. His wife helped raise my sister and me, and Uncle Ty often joined us for picnics, baton twirling, or harmonica playing. He was a dear man and a blessing to our family.

The last 17 weeks have been so exciting and such a constant reminder of God's goodness and blessings. I love knowing our baby's name and being able to pray for him specifically. Plus it's great for me to mentally prepare for a boy since my sister has 3 girls; I'm 1 of 2 girls, and my mother is 1 of 3 girls.

The last 17 weeks have also felt like my body has a science project going on within it. It's really amazing how much everything is changing and how much I'm learning.

In other great news, we're back in our house and loving it. It's very comforting to finally be settling in.

p.s. I'm thankful for baby Jack and ultrasound technology that allows me to see him. I'm already looking forward to our next appointment.

The End is in Sight!

2011-07-30T11:41:00.000-05:00

Thankfully it looks like we'll be moving back into our home at the end of next week. We're loving the way our house is looking and are so glad to have an end to all of this in sight. I imagine that by the end of August we'll be finished with all of this storm-related busyness, including the multiple phone calls to our mortgage company asking them to send the checks they were supposed to have already mailed, emails to our insurance adjuster to claim our depreciation money (so we can pay our contractor), and all of that hassle.

We finally got power back to our house (we've just had a temporary pole for construction purposes) a few weeks ago, so last weekend we finally installed the chandelier I bought last January for our dining room. I love it!

It's going to be nice to have more free time and for Blake not to be so stressed out and busy driving over to our house all the time. And maybe I'll find time to blog more; it's definitely fun to have a journal of some sort to reflect back on from time to time. Hope you're all well :)

p.s. I'm grateful for lazy Saturdays.

Progress

2011-06-16T10:16:00.005-05:00

We're seeing lots of progress with our house each week, and it looks like we'll be able to move back in by the end of next month. Honestly I'm still holding on to some bitterness about this ordeal that I need to let go of; I need to quit complaining and just enjoy the good things that are coming from this experience.

I've included some photos showing our progress...and no, we are not going to have a mustard colored house with mismatched siding; this is just the color of primed Hardiplank and the shingle like siding happens to come in a different color. It will all be painted gray with white trim. We had planned to exchange our vinyl siding for Hardi in a few years, but since insurance was only going to pay to re-side half of our house (which obviously wouldn't match) we decided to add to the money insurance was willing to pay and go ahead with this improvement.

Here are some of our new windows. Fortunately insurance was willing to pay to replace all of our windows since so many were damaged in the storm, and they all need to match (as they did preloss). This was a huge blessing because this is something we really wanted to do in the next year or two.

While all of this construction was going on we decided to pay to add rails to our back porch so that it is more child and dog friendly; we're also rescreening it since there were numerous holes in the screen (and I'm afraid Thatch may jump to his death).

I am so eager to be back in our home!

p.s. I am grateful for my father. We celebrated Father's Day last night, and he finally got a gmail acccount!

Finally!

2011-05-24T22:01:00.004-05:00

After almost three months of our house looking like this:

the repairs have started! We are so grateful. Finally seeing some actual physical progress gives me hope and is exciting. I'm so ready to be back in our home.

Long story short we ended up getting a new adjuster after our initial adjuster submitted an absolutely asinine estimate to us (and she only got around to that because I called her supervisor...can you tell I'm still a little bitter?). We then met with our new adjuster and our contractor (very helpful), and our contractor submitted an estimate. After weeks of waiting, we received word that our insurance company would pay all of our contractor's bid except a few hundred dollars. We were stunned and elated as this was about $47,000 more than the initial estimate.

Of course nothing works quickly when an insurance company is actually paying money out (but they sure do demand prompt payment from their insureds), so it took another few weeks to get a check, and then when we received it it was several thousand dollars short. It took another few weeks to resolve that, and in the meantime we worked with our mortgage company on getting disbursement of funds from them (since we had to forward the insurance checks to them) which is another ordeal. It's really been a very time-consuming few months-- and such a blessing that Blake and I both have such flexible jobs.

We're hoping to be back in our home in July by which time our house will be a different color! We're adding money to the insurance funds so that we can go ahead and put Hardie Board on our home, which we're going to paint a light/medium gray with white trim.

Happy summer!

p.s. I'm grateful for this progress and for the fun that Pinterest has been for me the last few weeks.

Moving...Again

2011-03-09T22:14:00.004-05:00

Hopefully Blake, Thatcher, & I will be moving into an apartment later this week. It's not a great location, but we're beyond tired of living in a small hotel room and out of our suitcase. Thankfully we're both feeling less anxious, angry (at the adjuster), and exhausted than we have over the last 10 days. Last week was pretty awful. We were preoccupied by ridiculous comments by our adjuster (which could constitute an entire post), uneasy feelings about the structural engineer hired by our insurance company, and our inability to sleep through the night in this small, uncomfortable hotel bed. I struggled a lot with anxiety.

Last Saturday we had a 5 hour meeting with our adjuster and her structural engineer (our insurance company refused to pay for/use a local engineer and insisted on using the firm they use "all the time"), and it was a really frustrating and disheartening experience. While we know that in the end everything will turn out fine, we're realizing that it may be an exhausting battle to get there (at least with this adjuster).

Thankfully our relocation company is more reasonable than our adjuster, and while they initially suggested we consider an apartment complex that was totally unsuitable, as soon as I located an acceptable place, they contacted the leasing agent and got the ball rolling. We're just waiting on our adjuster to decide whether the insurance company is going to pay to move our belongings (which is the logical choice given the construction and refinishing of our floors that will occur over the next few months) & furniture to this apartment or if she's going to insist that we use rental furniture, etc. Based on what contractors have told us and the lag time with insurance, we're thinking we won't be back in our house for 3 months or more.

The highlight of the last week has been how beautifully Blake and I have worked together and encouraged each other through this ordeal. Despite being exhausted, we've been patient and kind to each other and worked well as a team as we make numerous phone calls and decisions(engineers, electricians, contractors, remediation companies, utility companies, relocation company, and the list goes on) and meet for appointments, etc. I've felt so grateful to have him at my side--and that he has an engineering and construction background--because I do not understand a lot of this. Thankfully I do understand our insurance policy...Blake & I both see how uneducated insureds could be taken advantage of easily.

p.s. I'm grateful for your prayers. I know this isn't a tragedy like the loss of life or an illness, but it's been a really overwhelming experience for us.

So Much for Settling In

2011-03-01T19:41:00.005-05:00

A fierce windstorm (perhaps a tornado) swept through our neighborhood yesterday afternoon while I was at work and Blake was in Florida. Thankfully no one in our area was hurt, although a man in a nearby community was sadly killed.

Here's a photograph of our house from yesterday afternoon:

And here is the view from part of the interior of our second floor:

The corner of our living room; sadly there's water in the walls, ruining our newly painted walls (doesn't pismo/baja dunes look great though?) & part of our crown molding:

We were so thankful that our new neighbors could rush over and get Thatcher from our house; he was hiding under our bed, which he's never done before. Our neighbors also cleaned up some of the water and set out buckets to capture the leaks.

I cleaned up water as soon as I got home as well, but our brand new hardwood floors are buckling and uneven now from the water that must be trapped underneath the floors. Part of the roof, siding, and gutters are destroyed; the upstairs bathroom walls and ceiling have been destroyed along with the storage areas; some windows are cracked or misshapen; and we fear that the foundation may be comprised given the enormous weight of the tree and multiple cracks throughout many walls. Our front stoop is also destroyed along with part of our driveway. We met with a general contractor today, and he said it could be 2-3 months before things are fully repaired. We're in the process of getting quotes.

Thankfully the tree crew finished up today, and a remediation company is coming tomorrow to more fully and securely tarp the house (in case it rains again) and begin the process of drying/removing water. Given the significant damage & odor (wet insulation I guess) and lack of electricity, we're in a hotel for at least a few days. Thatch is enjoying life with the "grandparents."

It's been an incredible 24 hours, and we're exhausted. Thankfully Blake was able to fly home last night, so we can navigate this insurance/rebuilding process together. Please pray that we have a reasonable and fair adjuster. We should meet her on Saturday and hopefully get approval to start putting our new home back together. We're not looking forward to handling this ordeal, especially after the last tiring 6 weeks of remodeling, but God's faithful provision is already so evident. He is good.

p.s. I'm grateful that so many friends, family, and new neighbors are reaching out to help us and that only things were damaged--after all, they can always be replaced.

Settling In

2011-02-25T14:32:00.010-05:00

We've made lots of decisions--choosing paint, stain for our new floors, molding, baseboards, and we're still working on light fixtures. We've done lots of work (replacing stairs, painting, cleaning, packing, etc.) And we've hired some experts to sand, stain, and finish our floors (and I have idea how they endure that polyurethane smell); a plaster guy replaced our crumbling fire place wall for us and did some major patching; an electrician checked out our wiring and helped us identify the outlets that do/don't work; and we had the crown molding & base boards installed.

And last Saturday we moved in with the help of some great friends. Thankfully we had excellent weather, and the move was uneventful. We're still unpacking, but so far I'm liking house-living much better than the loft. It's so much quieter! And it's just nice to have more space so that we can spread out. And Thatcher is much better behaved now that we're paying attention to him again (painting and packing are two of his least favorite things, btw) and he has a big backyard to roam around in. Hoping to post some before/after photographs soon, but for now, check out Thatcher's new "perch."

p.s. I'm thankful for how smoothly everything has fallen into place with our new home.

It's Been a Chicken Kind of Winter

2011-01-31T19:41:00.005-05:00

I've had two recipes on repeat this winter, and I love them so much that one week I realized I had eaten the same entree for at least seven meals in a row! Since I've enjoyed them so much I thought I would share them with you.

My recipe for Chicken Tortilla Soup is a combination of several different recipes I found online; the Velveeta Cheese makes it creamy and rich. This recipe is easily altered by adding a can of black beans, corn, or by using spicy Rotel instead of the original, etc.

3 chicken breasts (which you can cook/shred beforehand or during the process)
2 regular size cans of Original Rotel
2 (10 ounce) can mild enchilada sauce (if you want it spicy, use medium)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth (you may want one more can--it just depends on how thick you want your soup to be)
1 and ½ teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1-2 bay leaf
Velveeta cheese (about an inch or two wide "slice" cut into cubes)

Put everything except for the Velveeta in a crock pot and stir, cover, and cook on low setting for 6 to 8 hours or on high setting for 3 to 4 hours. After a few hours I remove the chicken breasts and shred them with two forks. About 30-60 minutes before the soup is finished cooking, drop the Velveeta cubes into the pot...once they melt, stir again. Serve with tortilla chips & sour cream.

My other repeat recipes is Chicken Tortilla Casserole, which I believe my co-worker got from Parents.com:

3 cups shredded, cooked chicken (you could easily use more if you want)
1 packet (1.25 ounce)taco seasoning
2 cups salsa verde
9 fajita-size flour tortillas
1 can (15.5 ounces)refried beans, warmed in microwave
8 ounces sour cream
3 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Directions

1.Heat oven to 350°. Mix chicken, taco seasoning, 1/2 cup water and salsa verde in a skillet. Simmer on medium heat for 10 minutes.

2.Coat 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan with nonstick cooking spray. Cover bottom of pan with 3 flour tortillas, overlapping. Pour half of the chicken mixture on the tortillas. Cover with 3 more tortillas. Spread with warmed beans and the sour cream.

3.Sprinkle half the cheese over the beans and sour cream, and cover with the remaining 3 tortillas. Top with remaining chicken mixture, followed by remaining cheese. Bake at 350° for 25 to 28 minutes, until bubbly. I serve this with chips to and think it's even better reheated the next day.

Happy new week!

p.s. I'm grateful for my niece Mallie's first birthday party and the time with family.

Progress & Paint

2011-01-28T13:54:00.006-05:00

It's been two weeks since we closed on the house, and wow, my husband has been hard at work. We've ripped out all of the carpet; torn out the hardwood floors on the first floor; and my brother in law, step-dad, and Blake installed the new hardwood floors. Blake has also torn out the ceiling tiles in two rooms, removed the popcorn finish on one ceiling, and is almost finished patching holes/cracks in the plaster on our walls so that we can paint. My contributions have been mainly limited to cleaning, providing meals (and doing all other household chores), slowly moving things to the house, and choosing paint. Choosing paint colors is hard. I'm glad Ace Hardware has free buttery popcorn; that makes it less painful.

We thought we'd narrowed it down to two colors yesterday (Benjamin Moore's berkshire beige or baja dunes), but once we applied them to our walls and looked at them in artificial light we realized they weren't for us. I think we're going to try chocolate mousse (the color) tonight. I like the idea of a darker chocolate color, but with our cherryish wood furniture and a brown leather sofa, we're thinking it'll be too dark. Looks like we'll be painting the foyer and small bedrooms white for now....

We've also had an electrician move our outlets since some were in the baseboard and some were on the wall. Oddly the smallest bedroom in the house has 12 outlets! It's crazy how many outlets this old house has...makes me wonder why.

Painting begins in the morning! Let's hope it goes quickly :) Happy (almost) weekend!

Before:

After:

p.s. I'm grateful that it's Friday!

My New Obsession

2011-01-20T10:24:00.004-05:00

Last week I shared Thatcher's new obsession, so I figured I'd share mine today: HGTV. I'm even setting my DVR from my phone to record shows like Sweat Equity, DIY Disaster, and Holmes on Homes. And I've decided to make a few videos to submit to HGTV in hopes of getting their help with some of our remodeling. After all we're basically redoing the entire house.

After our closing on Friday we celebrated with lunch at Urban Spoon, and then the real fun began. We pulled up the carpet in the living room and dining room and discovered this:

Of course, we'd hope to find the hardwood floors in decent shape, so that we could just have them sanded and refinished. Alas the three dogs that have lived with the previous owner had obviously not been fully house trained, and their urine had thoroughly stained parts of the floors and even rotted them in spots. So we've torn up the hardwoods as well and are having new flooring installed next week. I can't wait to see what the new 4 inch, slightly darker hardwood will look like. Thankfully the hardwoods upstairs are in much better condition and can be salvaged.

In the meantime, do you guys have any suggestions for this fireplace in our living room? I like the white wood mantel, but we're not crazy about the faux red brick and tile or the gold hood-like thing. Any thoughts? We're planning to paint the room a neutral--maybe a light brown/khaki-ish color.

p.s. I'm grateful for so many people's help this last week--whether they're giving us advice or lending a hand with our demolition or cleaning.

Thatcher's Obsession (You'll Never Guess)

2011-01-13T23:46:00.005-05:00

While my sister manages to keep her home remarkably clean and straigtened-up especially given her three children and husband, I recently learned that somehow a number of pacifiers on the floor escaped her attention. How did I learn this?

I took Thatcher to her house for a visit, and he found any and all pacifiers within his reach. He found several under her bed, a few more under the crib, and when we were outside he came running up and looking like this:

Clearly my youngest niece can't hold onto a pacifier. Of course, I took the paci away from Thatch since he eventually tries to eat the soft part. A few days later I had on a raincoat, and Thatch began scratching furiously at its pocket. I reached in the pocket to find his dear paci I had cruelly taken away. The dog is obsessed. We realized the full extent of his obsession when Thatch hung out with our friends' son Holden and stole his paci. Here's a photograph of Thatch sniffing things out:

p.s. I'm thankful that at least Thatch likes babies (at least the ones that don't make much noise)--even if he likes their pacis more.

2010 (Put a Ring On It)

2011-01-11T14:31:00.023-05:00

I'm a bit behind in end-of-the-year and beginning-of-the-year posting (or really just posting in general), but I just read a post that detailed the past year in photographs and felt inspired enough to log into Blogger & recap 2010.

January

My friends & I rang in the new year with a mad plaid party. My niece Mallie was born. We enjoyed a snow that permitted really fun sledding on the hill outside our apartments. And Blake & I bought Thatcher (he's doing his favorite thing in this photograph--licking!)

February

I finished watching all episodes of Criminal Minds, discovered the deliciousness that is boursin cheese on filet mignon, got a new, great secretary--obviously a slow month! (I only remember these things b/c I blogged about them.) Almost forgot, I visited Chicago for the first time to see my friend Sarah and meet up with our other two friends. from our days in Macon. So fun to catch up, but Thatcher almost died while I was gone. Scary!

March

Blake proposed. I said yes. I couldn't have been more thrilled.

April

We quickly set a date (June 12th) for the wedding & began planning. The planning wasn't really fun at all, but I felt very blessed by how well Blake and I worked together in doing something we didn't enjoy very much. And we celebrated Easter with a feast with our friends...so delicious!

May

Our friends threw us a co-ed shower as well as a lingerie shower (no boys at that one though). My friend Nicole and my sisters hosted another shower in my hometown, and we were constantly humbled by our friends and family's generosity, thoughtfulness, and support.

June

Finally! The planning was over, and Blake & I got married. The day went very smoothly thanks to our awesome friends & family (who served us well in so many different ways), and we were in the car headed to Atlanta by 1:00 or so :) One of my favorite moments was when I first saw Blake that morning at 7:45. He was waiting for me at the place he had proposed, and this is what I saw when I arrived: While we were dating, we often referred to "One Day"--because we knew that if it was God's plan for us to be married that "One Day" we'd get to enjoy certain things together--but not until then. And finally One Day had arrived. So glad to have waited for God's perfect plan & for Blake.

June 12th was also a special day for our friends Kate & Carson as Kate gave birth to their much prayed over son Holden. Here she is at our wedding & in labor! Here's one more favorite wedding day photo with my sweet friends & flower girl. Of course, we also went on our lovely honeymoon to the Dominican Republic.

July

Answered prayer! Blake got a great job. The timing was ideal--just a few weeks after we returned from our honeymoon.

August

Our friends Beth & Michael were commissioned & shipped out to "East Asia" as missionaries. Exciting but sort of sad too. Blake & I participated in our first mud run.

September

We spent a weekend at my boss' cabin in Mentone and continued adjusting to marriage, which has been much more difficult than I thought it would be for us. Blake & I also joined a Stories Group and began hosting a Supper Club through our church.

October

We celebrated Halloween with a party on the roof, and thanks to Blake's dad & step-mom Thatcher even got in on the "fun." I started volunteering regularly with some high school students once a week, and Blake had to travel a good bit. Thankfully distance makes the heart grow fonder :) We also began looking in earnest for a house & enjoyed a overnight shopping trip to Atlanta.

November

We found a house! It needs lot of work but is priced appropriately, and it's less than a mile from where we live now. We'll also share our back fence with our friends Kate & Carson (& Holden too). We close this Friday!

December

Blake's employer flew the spouses down to Tampa for the company Christmas party, and it was a great get-away. The spa was awesome, and it was just fun to be away together and to finally meet some of his coworkers (since Blake works from home). We had a magical white Christmas and celebrating Christmas with four separate parental units went better than we expected. I enjoyed my last huge Christmas tree (since our new home won't have such high loft ceilings).

So in summary, my year was full of answered prayers. It was busy, especially the process of going from "I" to much more "we." The new year is already off to an exciting start; hope yours is too.

p.s. I'm grateful for new years, clean slates, resolutions, possibilities, and opportunities.

He Changes Everything

2010-12-20T20:40:00.002-05:00

How can it be that a baby born in a stable in Bethlehem so many years ago can change everything so radically & completely?

Who would have imagined that God's son would be born from a lineage that included a prostitute and an adulterer?

How amazing is it that our King leads by serving?

How fantastic is it that Christ can radically rewire our selfish hearts and minds and help us love one another sacrificially?

And how perfect is it that it's all about what Christ has done (and not about our actions)?

These are reasons to celebrate. He is where my heart and mind needs to dwell instead of the endless to-do lists, holiday scheduling and gift buying, and trying to figure out how the holidays can feel more relaxed and not so rushed/over-planned.

p.s. I'm thankful for my friend Beth and the calling she and her husband are pursuing. It's cool to watch people so clearly live out the Lord's plan for their lives.

Party Attire

2010-12-06T19:03:00.003-05:00

In the past two weeks, I've been invited to two events with attire suggestions that strike me as funny. The first one was "business casual or cocktail," which feels like a really wide option range. I'm borrowing a friend's long sleeve black wrap dress, which seems like a nice compromise (and helps me avoid buying a winter dress that I'd probably never wear b/c I'm always so cold plus the mall in Chattanooga falls somewhere between frustrating and hopeless). The other invite calls for "dinner party casual." That seems like an unhelpful attire suggestion, but I'm thinking dark jeans and a nice shirt will work.

My neighbor said she once got an invitation that called for "hill country elegant," which sort of sounds like an oxymoron to me. Another friend received an invitation with the suggested attire of "Charleston casual." Whatever happened to the four simple categories of casual, business casual, cocktail, or black tie?

In other news, we're closing on a house next month! The house is in a fantastic location (maybe a mile from where we live now) with a nice size, relatively flat lot (hard to find in this party of town). We'll share our back fence with some of our closest friends, and several people from our church live live within a few blocks. The house needs a LOT of work, but fortunately it was priced accordingly. In fact, the house was never even listed, so we avoided the realtor fees. It's one of those situations where everything just fell into place within a week. We're excited.

Hope you guys are enjoying the Christmas season and not overly busy. I'm doing my best to slow down and enjoy.

p.s. I'm thankful that our Christmas tree is up! I love, love, love sitting in the dark living room with just the tree lights.

MIA

2010-10-27T11:27:00.005-05:00

Good afternoon blog world!

Please excuse my long absence. In response to Rachel's question as to whether I plan to continue blogging now that I'm married, I guess my best answer is I don't know. It rarely occurs to me to write a post, and when it does, it's rare that I actually get out the computer and do it. Looking back, I've only posted 10 times this year, but I haven't quite felt compelled to just shut the blog down.

A lot has changed since I last wrote. About two weeks after we returned from our honeymoon & my work retreat, Blake got a job. Thankfully it's not "just a job," but a job that fits his skills and desires really well. So now Blake works from home and travels once or twice a month. It's been such an answer to prayers.

We're house hunting and are really looking forward to living in a larger space. The one bedroom loft feels really small and makes alone time difficult plus it's hard for me to work from home now that Blake is.

Needless to say, we're been making lots of adjustments in getting used to living together and just being married. Some of the things that I thought would be challenging (like shared finances) haven't been, but then other things that I never suspected would be hard are difficult for us. Being together so much (and in such small quarters) has given us more opportunities to care for each other, but it's also give us more opportunities to hurt & annoy the other; that's been really hard for me. Blake is great at taking things like this in stride, but conflict bothers me much more than it should. Marriage has definitely exposed (or reminded me of) areas in which I have room to grow. I'm glad I have such a patient partner.

p.s. I'm thankful that I can bring my dog Thatcher to work with me. I asked him this morning if he wanted to go to the office with me, and he almost did a back flip in excitement.

Married!

2010-06-30T11:36:00.008-05:00

It's my third day back in the office, so I'm finally getting around to blogging :) Blake & I got married on the 12th, and everything went very smoothly. Some wonderful friends helped in all different sorts of ways (from bringing Thatcher to his part of the photo shoot to piping frosting on cupcakes), and the entire experience was yet another reminder of God's goodness and perfect plan.

I'm not really sure that people care about all of the details, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask. The photographs posted here were taken by Amy Beth Bullard who I met through the blogosphere.

I loved starting our photographs early--around 7:45 and enjoyed the ceremony and,
reception (although I hated not having more time to talk to each person), but one of my favorite moments was when Blake & I got in the car after the reception and it was all over--the planning, to-do lists, and constancy of it all, and I knew that we had a week together with no one else and nothing that had to be accomplished. Our night in Atlanta and week in the Dominican Republic were just what we needed, and I feel incredibly blessed to be married to Blake.

p.s. I'm thankful for the 19 days I had off from work (even if I didn't get paid:)

p.p.s. The tankini thing lasted one day. Bikinis are much more comfy!

Prenup

2010-06-07T10:50:00.002-05:00

A few months ago, at my boss's request, I drafted my first (and hopefully last) prenuptial agreement for a couple in their late 60s. The initial meeting was awkward as I attempted to determine why exactly they needed such an agreement given their very modest assets. I finally learned that one of the parties wanted to ensure that a residence would ultimately become her children's property upon her death.

As we proceeded to draft the prenuptial agreement and wills, things, at least in my mind, went downhill. At one point, I found us itemizing who had paid what portions of items they'd jointly purchased and what they had assured me was a simple will and prenuptial agreement quickly became complicated and petty. Her resentment and their lack of communication became evident. The agreement was finalized and signed just hours before their wedding.

Guess what? After three months of marriage, they are calling it quits. One of the parties has called and asked me to handle the annulment or divorce, but thankfully our firm is conflicted out since I drafted the prenuptial agreement and wills (plus I generally do not handle domestic matters). I know that I'm unaware of the circumstances but three months?

So there you have it. Prenuptial agreements are written in contemplation and preparation of divorce*. Blake & I haven't discussed how we would like for the dissolution of marriage to occur because we do not plan on that happening. We don't want a contingency plan or escape hatch. I have to wonder if this couple spent nearly the time or resources trying to save (or plan for) their marriage that they did on this prenuptial agreement. I wonder how the divorce rate of couples with prenuptial agreements compare to the typical rate. Regardless I'm hoping this couple will reconsider and give their marriage more than a few months of effort.

p.s. I'm grateful that the sun is out today and that I only have 2 more days of work after today.

* I realize there are sometimes extraordinary circumstances that may necessitate a prenuptial agreement to protect a shared family asset, etc.

Spanx for Men....

2010-05-30T21:21:00.002-05:00

Did you know this existed? I was searching for a tie for Blake for the wedding when I ran across this creation.

Only 12 more days until our wedding, and we're both ready for this busy engagement season to be behind us and to be married (and on the beach in Dominican Republic). It's been a stressful season but such constant confirmation to me that I am incredibly blessed to be marrying Blake. The closest thing we've had to an argument was a one hour disagreement about whether or not I'd walk down the aisle, which given all of the decisions and whatnot we've had to handle is fantastic.

So two more cool things.....

(1) Our photographer contacted me. Yes, I didn't have to call or look for a photographer. Amy Beth emailed me to see if she could be of help! She's been reading my blog for over a year and photographs as a side job. She's definitely talented, and from reading her blog, I can tell she's a beautiful person. I'll meet her this week for the first time in person :) Gotta love the blogosphere.

(2) Speaking of the blogosphere, I helped host a baby shower last Saturday when one of the guests approached me and said I looked familiar....because she reads my blog! Ha. She doesn't blog but recognized me from photos. Small world.

I hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend!

p.s. I'm grateful for the rest I've gotten this weekend and for unexpected time with my friend Chasie.

"I Can Just Get Over It"

2010-05-05T09:11:00.004-05:00

Given my aversion to effectively handling interpersonal conflict, I often, at least initially, take the position that "I can just get over" whatever has bothered me. I'm not sure this isn't a good approach--after all, I don't need to confront everyone about everything, especially since some things sting in the moment but are quickly forgotten.

On the flip side, sometimes I don't just get over it, and after a few weeks, I realize that I've become a little bitter and I've complained about the situation to others rather than maturely discussed it with those directly involved. As I began to write this post, I contemplated sharing the situation with you all. After all, I suspect most of you would agree with my position, and then I'd feel even more justified in my frustration. I would still not, however, be remotely justified in my delay in actually handling the situation as a Christian is called to do. So this afternoon I will (1) ask for forgiveness in how I've vented entirely too much about this and become bitter and (2) explain my frustration and seek understanding. Of course, I almost dread this conversation. I wonder when I'll finally learn that in some instances I just need to deal with things and not stew on them. I'm guessing marriage will give me some opportunities to practice handling things in a more immediate way since it might be hard to live with someone while I'm stewing :) Thankfully Blake is great at handling interpersonal conflict and calling me out when I appear to be pouting.

In other, oh-so-exciting-news, I think I'm going to go with roses as seen in this photograph but in pink. Blake will likely be wearing a navy suit, so should he wear a pink tie? I love navy and pink together....

p.s. I'm grateful for my time with my friend Allison this weekend (and that she wasn't at home in Nashville during the flood) and the super fun lingerie shower on Saturday night.

Bikinis & Bosses

2010-04-30T12:12:00.004-05:00

When Blake & I return from our honeymoon on the Saturday following our wedding, we will then head from the Atlanta airport to Pawley's Island for my law firm's retreat. While I wish it was a week later just to give us a chance to do laundry, see Thatcher, etc., I'm so thankful that Blake & I will be married (meaning he gets to go with me). Years ago I really wanted to visit Pawley's, but accommodations on the island are very pricey for a single since there are only two hotels; it seems most people rent homes. The retreat is only a few days, and I think we'll return home on my birthday.

So it's occurred to me that I'll likely be in swimwear on the beach with my bosses. I don't know why exactly but that's just weird to me. I only own bikinis, and while they're not unusually skimpy I think I might feel weird wearing them around my employers (two men). Would you guys? I'm thinking it may be time for me to buy a tankini.

On a semi-related note, do you guys find some of the Victoria Secret swimsuit ads to be as ridiculous as I do? It makes it more difficult for me to discern if I like the bikini or not when the model is starting to pull her bikini bottom off, straddling the sand, or otherwise lewdly posed. Maybe I need to shop at Target instead :)

And on that note, happy Friday!!

p.s. I'm thankful for my sweet friends who are throwing Blake & me our first shower tomorrow...and later in the day my lingerie shower.

Wedding Planning....

2010-04-26T22:16:00.005-05:00

Reception Centerpieces: After spending hours clicking through images of floral centerpieces and feeling stressed about having to make decisions about something that really isn't that important to me, I've decided to go with my original idea for centerpieces: cupcakes (probably on cake stands) and maybe my favorite appetizer at the restaurant where we've having our brunch reception (homemade sweet potato chips with an oddly yummy blue cheese fondue).

My bouquet: SO now the only flower decision I have to make is for my bouquet. I'd love your ideas. White calla lilies are simple & pretty, but since I'm not having attendants (and their dresses to brighten things up) I wonder if I need to have a flower with more color. I also like flowers tightly smushed together and pink....Any thoughts? Links? Suggestions? I guess I need to have a boutonniere for him too? I'm hoping to find photographs of what I like and then take that to a florist.

Dress: It's here! I'm not in love with it, but given that I didn't want to spend much money or time my options were limited. So I bought a dress at David's Bridal for $250 plus tax. David's isn't a pleasant shopping experience (no one will help you get in & out of dresses; the dressing rooms are small; and it sort of gives me that same overwhelming feeling that Walmart does on a Saturday), BUT you can try on dresses in your size (unlike boutiques that seem to only carry a size 10) and the dresses are very cheap compared to most stores. Here's a shot of me in the sample of the dress I bought. The back of the dress isn't so cute, so Blake's mom is adding buttons. AND I need no alterations! That's saves me $100s! The store said I need to wear a slip under the dress to make it go out more, but I'm not sure I want it to poof out any more. Thoughts?

Can you tell how poor I am at making decisions? My mother has picked out a veil she really likes, but I haven't brought myself to spend $80 (even if it is my mom's money:) on tulle with ribbon on the edges! I think that when you add the word bride or wedding to something, retailers take it as an opportunity to mark things up even more than usual. It's such a racket.

We've spent the last 10 days moving most of Blake's stuff into my place (no small feat, esp. since I have ONE closet), and while moving is no fun, it's been such a reminder of how well we work together and how incredibly blessed I am to have met someone I'd want to share all of this with. He's sweet to stay at his dad's house the next 47 days, so we can put what he would have paid in rent/utilities toward our honeymoon expense. And now I get to sleep in his nice king size pillow
top mattress.

p.s. I'm thankful for Thatcher...he's snoozing beside me on the sofa and so good at cuddling.

Only Two More Months!

2010-04-09T12:48:00.003-05:00

Thank you guys for your sweet comments and encouragement. I am grateful for all of the kindness I've experienced since Blake proposed. It makes this time extra fun.

It's been a very busy last two weeks as we've set a date (June 12th) and chosen and booked: a ceremony location (our church which is two blocks from our lofts), reception location (also two blocks away), and honeymoon location (Dominican Republic). So all of the big stuff is settled, and I am making a dress decision on Saturday. I'm not in love with any of the ones I've tried on, but the dress part isn't very important to me and I'm not really willing to spend much time or money on it...so we'll see.

I also have a trial coming up in two weeks, so needless to say I feel a bit overwhelmed at times. I'm really excited about being married, and I think we'll both be glad when this planning stage is over. Blake has almost finished designing our invitations, and he even registered for our dishes at a local store one afternoon.

We're having a small wedding--just family and very close friends, so that's made all of the planning easier, although it's made the guest list very challenging. Finding a reception venue that can accommodate a lot of people and that isn't prohibitively expensive at this "late" date is challenging (a few people have asked if I'm pregnant...and the answer is a resounding "no"), plus we both want a smaller, modest wedding. I doubt we'll hire a florist, and the jury is out on photographers. So many photographers will not let you have your digital prints or have wedding packages beginning at $2500; I'm just not willing to spend that kind of money. We're not having any attendants--just a flower girl. We're doing our best to keep it simple and focused on what is important to us--having a worship ceremony to celebrate Christ and our covenant of marriage and being with those that we love and who will help encourage and hold us accountable in the future (and when we're mad at each other :)

Just 65 more days until Blake & I are relaxing on the beach at an amazing resort....and on that note, happy Friday and happy weekend!

p.s. I'm thankful for this beautiful, sunshine-filled day and the weekend ahead.

Thrilled!

2010-03-26T09:36:00.010-05:00

Blake (previous blog alias: Clay) and I walked Thatcher last Saturday night after dinner at Hennen's. During our walk at the park we came to a grassy area that's sort of isolated in the woods and surrounded by a round cement structure. Clay commented on how pretty it was since it was lit up, and I walked over to inspect the lights. Then I realized they were candles. I had a brief moment of suspicion but quickly dismissed it, simply thinking the candles must have been left by someone. After all Blake & I had been together all evening. When we reached the middle of the circle Blake started fumbling with his jacket pocket, and I realized he was about to propose. It was really sweet and felt surreal and after talking for a bit we walked over to the other nearby park to see some of our close friends (half of whom knew what was going on and half who were excited to hear the news). Thatcher didn't seem to have strong feelings either way :)

Since then I've been so excited (and anxious to get things planned) that I've barely been able to sleep. I couldn't be happier and am planning to get married June 12.

If you're like me and like to ready people's "stories," you can read about our first date here (where I say that I will not go out with Blake, my neighbor, again even though I had a great time:), our second date & how I judged him too quickly here, third date, fourth date, the eleventh date, and how I missed him when I was in Nicaragua, the delightful birthday surprise he gave me....that's at least the start of this story....

Happy Friday!

p.s. I'm thankful that I've been patient and didn't settle for less than God's best, especially when people told me I was "too picky," that who I was looking for didn't exist, etc.

Agent Morgan, Bows, and Boursin Cheese

2010-02-10T20:53:00.004-05:00

Filet mignon with boursin cheese is delicious.

Has anyone else noticed how couples never actually look at the photographer anymore in engagement photographs? I was looking at an album on Facebook, and I don't think there was a single photo of the couple looking at each other, in the same direction, or both in the direction of the photographer. I like some of the fun things photographers do now, but I still think there's something to be said for a semi-"normal" photograph.

Are big bows and monogramming for babies just a Southern thing?

My friend A2 gave Thatcher his very first gift, and it's been such a blessing to me because he chews on it instead of my fingers. Speaking of Thatch, he's already retrieving! Good dog! Here's a photograph of him in his new favorite place at Clay's house.

Does anyone else find Criminal Minds to be addictive? I discovered the show a few months ago and proceeded to DVR and watch every episode. Gotta love how Derek Morgan kicks every door down....why try the knob when you can just kick, right?

I really liked Accidentally Me's posts on the proposed health care "reform" and in which she notes how insurance is generally designed to cover catastrophic events. For example, car insurance doesn't cover oil changes and routine maintenance; we cover those costs ourselves and rely on insurance for accidents. If car insurance covered tires, oil changes, and transmissions, imagine how much our premiums would be and how that might change how we take care of our cars. Anyway, AM details the problems with the current proposed health care "reform" much better than I can. You should check it out.

p.s. I'm thankful for my new secretary. She's so professional, full of initiative, and efficient.

Meet Thatcher (Thatch)

2010-02-02T10:45:00.004-05:00

I acquired a new roommate this weekend. Meet Thatch! He's a four pound, 9 week old King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and ridiculously cute. He's finally getting the hang of walking on my cement floors and not belly flopping. He's fearless but not so much because he's brave; it's more that he's extremely friendly and outgoing. So far he seems to love everyone and everything he meets, and his boldness is growing daily. Thankfully Clay is mostly home during the day, which really is the only reason I was able to get a puppy since Thatch has to go outside every hour or two now. So far the crate training is going really well, and I can't wait for him to be able to sleep through the night!

I'm sure my sister feels the same way about her newest daughter who is absolutely perfect and was born last week. I can't wait to hang out with Mallie more and see my other two nieces in action trying to take care of her....their very own living doll.

Hope your 2010 is off to a great start!

p.s. I'm thankful for the gift of life. Mallie is such a reminder of how precious it is.

We Interrupt This Blog....

2009-12-28T11:13:00.002-05:00

to share a message from my blog friend Brandy. I guess it's not much of an interruption since I haven't posted for over a month :) I have experienced the power of prayer in my own life and am, of course, glad to pass on this prayer request. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas! Thank you for reading this.

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

p.s. I'm grateful for the hope of the season of Christmas...a Savior born in a manger...the promise of eternal life...and the joy of knowing a Father who never lets me down.

This & That....

2009-11-25T12:39:00.003-05:00

It's almost the end of November, so I figured it might be time for my monthly blog post. I hope you're having a great fall and as excited as I am by the four day weekend, time with family, and yummy food. Here are some random thoughts:

Thanks to my boss I tried (for free) the new Starbucks creme brulee caramel latte. The whip cream and caramel brulee bits were delicious, but the actual latte wasn't very good.

I had brie with jam wrapped in phyllo last night. It was DELICIOUS.

We saw this ad the other day, and Clay thought it was awesome. Maybe you will too.

Here are some excerpts from a recent deposition of one of my clients:

Opposing counsel: "Do you have type 1 or type 2 diabetes?"

My client: "Well the doctor told me to quit eating those sweet Little Debbies." [Ah, gotcha, you totally answered that question]

My client: [From out of nowhere during a break] My lawyer here, she's a good looking woman. She's like a movie star or something, isn't she?

Opposing counsel: [Blank stare. Then states:] "Let's get that on the record."

My client constantly compliments me on what a fine lawyer I am, how I am good looking and shouldn't live alone because I need someone to keep me warm on cold nights, etc. He's evidently read that flattery (or his version of it) will get you better service. That is, until the other day when he asked me if the opposing counsel and/or insurance company had bribed me to do their dirty work. Sigh.

Recent Facebook status update from a girl I went to high school with:

"Life is good, God is great and men are sleezy. I am going to take a bubble bath and think about how truly blessed I am I don't have to come home to a man. I am free! Good God Almighty Free at last...."

p.s. I am thankful for a relaxed weekend with no working responsibilities, good books to read, time with my nieces, spending my first major holiday with Clay, and that my sister's third daughter should be here two months from now.

Cupcakes, Bagels, Honey Pecan Chicken Salad, and Smarties

2009-10-23T10:55:00.003-05:00

I often think of my life as being full of phases and not surprisingly they often involve food....the year I craved salmon Caesar salad and baked potatoes almost daily or the semesters I ate huge bags of Smarties or most recently my fondness for cupcakes. I've been hoping for a healthy eating phase to begin any day now, but it's definitely like swimming upstream. I'll make fruit smoothies for breakfast for a few days but then skip a day or two because a Power Bar or Panera cinnamon crunch bagel seems easier, quicker, or yummier. But good news!! Clay bought a fabulous grill (so easy that I could even use it), which has taken residence on my balcony. In five days we've grilled three times, which means that I'm eating chicken and other sources of nutrients instead of cupcakes, fluffernutters, and the like.

Other new developments include a fondness for the following: Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A." (although the video is disturbing), early bedtimes and sometimes as much as 9 hours of sleep each night, Clay's DVR which is conveniently set to record such masterpieces as "The Hills" and "Brothers & Sisters," and the Holy Bible iphone app that makes reading the Bible in bed even easier.

So what's new with you? Has anyone else started Christmas shopping yet? I bought my first gift today.

p.s. I'm grateful for chimichangas, calzones, burnt hot dogs, sesame sticks, Coca Cola, and the ease with which I'm able to acquire food. We're so blessed.

Out with the Old (Relationships), In with the New (Relationship)

2009-10-05T10:51:00.005-05:00

In the last few months, I've learned some good lessons about building a solid foundation for a relationship. I tend toward the conservative in theory when it comes to these sorts of issues ("wide margins"), but in practice, I've let remnants of past relationships continue to linger.

For example, until recently I still had hundreds of photographs on my computer of ex-boyfriends. I never look at the photos; they serve no purpose whatsoever. Yet I've never taken the time to delete them. And really I'd never given any thought to doing so until I asked about a photo album in Clay's closet. He had to look to even know what was in it. It was photographs of his ex-fiancee and him from years ago, and I didn't like how it made me feel. And it made me think about how Clay would feel if he ran across the photographs, cards, letters, etc. that I've held onto for years from various ex-boyfriends. Granted most are in boxes at my dad's house ("storage"), but they aren't things I need to hold onto as I move forward.

Similarly until recently I've talked to Carter when he calls each month or so. While our conversations involve nothing inappropriate and I enjoy chatting with Carter, it doesn't feel wise to continue investing in a friendship with an ex-boyfriend. And it doesn't seem like the best way for me to care for Clay and our relationship.

It's cost me very little to make these changes/deletions; it's just taken a little effort and time, which is absolutely well worth it to help build a healthy relationship that leaves less room for insecurity and doubt.

p.s. I'm grateful for a weekend filled with time with my family and a growing friendship with my secretary.

What I'm Learning: Community

2009-09-24T22:34:00.003-05:00

I've been cleaning up my Google documents and ran across something I wrote about two years ago and wanted to share part of it. It's a lesson that has been reinforced by my friendships in Chattanooga and as I've learned to give others the opportunity to serve me instead of always being too prideful to be anything other than self-reliant. Here's an excerpt of what I wrote during my time at Preston Taylor Ministries:

I am learning to depend on Christ in a way that I didn't think I needed to before--after all, it was easier in a middle class lifestyle with a safe home, generous pay check, and established routine to not depend on Him as much, feeling pretty self-sufficient. It's funny how a $400 a month paycheck, new environment and church home, and job in the 'hood made me remember very quickly who I need to depend on on a hourly basis.

Through this experience, I am learning how much I need others....their prayers, understanding, and love. I have been so humbled and blessed by an outpouring of encouragement, love, and support over the last few months; it feels very special to be a part of this community of believers.

I am learning what community really looks like as I watch two single moms combine forces and live together in order to just get by; or a single mom of three children take on two more upon their mother's death; or my new church family host nine homeless people every Wednesday night throughout the winter with people taking the time to really love and know the these individuals.

And I've realized how different this type of service in community is than just handing over a used coat or money--while handing over a coat is satisfying and helpful, it doesn't give us the opportunity to be transformed by Christ through those we are serving. In order to be transformed by Christ and in His image we desperately need community and relationships. Our creator made us for both.

In addition to increased prayer and reliance on Christ, I am seeing Him in the most unexpected places and people.

One example is Rick, one of the drug dealers who hangs out on our street. A few weeks ago a staff member's husband came to get something out of the building for her late at night. Rick confronted him, with a hand gun and all, wanting him to identify himself and explain why he was on Preston Taylor Ministries' property. Sure the husband was afraid and Rick's means might not be ideal, but Rick's immediate presence helped explain why our building has never been broken into, covered with graffiti, or otherwise messed with.

And if God can provide protection for His work and His kingdom through a gun toting drug dealer and redeem his actions, then surely He can use us for His kingdom too.

p.s. I'm grateful for friends like Chasie who encourage me to do wild and crazy things like try long layers instead of just getting my usual trim :) And so grateful for my friend Casey's wedding (and marriage) on Saturday.

Best Case Scenario

2009-09-15T08:58:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure exactly why, but on Sunday it struck me that I never wonder if the best case scenario of a situation, specifically a romantic relational situation such as my relationship with Clay, will play out in the best possible way. Instead I wonder "what if he isn't who he says he is?" or "how could he possibly be this crazy about me if he really knew me?"

I never think "what if he's as fantastic as I think he is, and we're totally right for each other?"

It's as if I am mentally preparing for the worst case scenario, bracing myself, so that somehow it won't hurt if things don't work out. And in doing so, I'm denying myself the full joy of the present. It's a dumb, pessimistic way to live, and as I was doing my Bible study this weekend, I realized it was a failure to trust that the Lord will protect and comfort me and ultimately use all things for my good and His glory. My experience has shown me that God is always faithful, yet I try to preemptively protect myself. And in addition, to denying myself the fun, excitement, and hope that life offer, it makes it challenging for Clay to fully invest in our relationship. Sometimes he feels like I'm looking for a flaw and just waiting to be disappointed. And he's right.

Funny, I wrote a similar post about 18 months ago, and in reading that post and reflecting on how I felt then, I see that I'm making progress in this regard. And I'm reminded of how easy and mostly joy-filled this relationship with Clay is. It amazes me that I can spend so much time with him and not have my introverted, irritated ways come out at all. I feel so blessed. Yet another reason to be more hopeful, imagine the best case scenario, and be intentional about delighting in the Lord and trusting that He is in control and loves me more than I can fathom.

p.s. I'm grateful for my Bible study group.

A Good Laugh

2009-08-30T20:12:00.004-05:00

I don't usually turn to Amazon reviews for laughter, but hey, I'll take it where I can get it.

Reviews #1 & 3 are my favorite so far.

p.s. I'm grateful that I'm going to Destin this weekend with my friend Chasie. I'm ready for a vacation! Yeah for a four day weekend! What are you grateful for today?

Quite the Summer

2009-08-09T18:52:00.002-05:00

Life has felt overly busy and stressful of late, leaving me feeling distinctly non-blogorific. It's really been quite the summer--with some real bright spots amidst a lot of stressful not-fun stuff. My mom is sorting through my grandparents' estates, and I've been helping with that as much as I can. It's a TON of work; I wish there was some way to take that burden off of her, so she could just grieve.

I'm finally back to normal health-wise, which is such an answered prayer. I'm definitely much weaker fitness wise though, so for now, I'm mainly just walking a few days a week. Hoping to get back in the gym routine soon, although I do sort of like not being ravenous all the time, which is how I feel when I run a lot. Unfortunately I got the lab bill from my illness, and it's almost $800. Sigh.

I'm really swamped and feel so behind at work; yet again I'm struggling with work/life balance and setting boundaries.

The Lord is reminding me that I'll continually need to rely on Him--as I struggle with some of the same sins over and over. Sometimes I wish I could just strike a few off the list :)

On the bright side:

My sister planned a great 6th birthday party for my niece...complete with a huge water slide-slip and slide-end in a pool inflatable. So fun!

My (great) Aunt Rene turned 90! She's such a blessing to my family.

I'm still crazy about Clay and enjoying my time with him immensely.

I'm going to see Counting Crows in concert on Tuesday. Last week I saw William Fitzsimmons in concert, and Clay just bought us tickets for Ray LaMontagne.

Last weekend I saw two of my favorite people...Allison & Chasie came to visit.

So on a thoughtful note, what lessons (serious, funny, or otherwise) have you learned this summer? I've learned that even when things seem sucky, there's still such an incredible amount to praise God for that it's astounding. I've also (re)learned how yummy margaritas are. And I'm working on learning how to hope more fully.

p.s. I'm grateful for my blogger friends. I know this blog world seems crazy to a lot of people, but I'm glad for you all.

"It's Just Like You'd Said It Would Be"

2009-07-12T08:53:00.003-05:00

"Lord Jesus Christ, I admit that I am weaker and more sinful than I ever before believed, but, through you, I am more loved and accepted than I ever dared hope. I thank you for paying my debt, bearing my punishment and offering forgiveness. I turn from my sins and receive you as Savior. Amen."

This is my prayer today but lifted from Tim Keller.

p.s. I'm grateful for answered prayers. My mom called this morning, and my grandfather stopped breathing last night. He's non-responsive and on a respirator now, but they'll remove it soon; he's expected to die within minutes of doing so. My prayer through all of this with Papa has been for the Lord's mercy, and I feel like God has answered that prayer with this peaceful, calm death for Papa. Praise God; He is so faithful.

"Now if she does it like this, will you do it like that?"

2009-07-08T23:32:00.003-05:00

* "Shake It" by Metro Station has been on repeat for the last week. I can't help but dance.

* I think Clay and I have been on about 25 dates now, and it's been 90 days since our first date. He's crazy thoughtful and kind--flowers for no reason Monday night, a happy day card under my windshield wipers this morning (we're neighbors), and last week while he was in Vegas he asked me to look in the cabinet above his coffee maker--voila, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of marshmallow fluff, a 4th of July card, and Starbucks caramel macchiato truffles. He's been a real bright spot in what's been a less than ideal summer, and I'm really grateful for him.

* The lab results were negative for bacteria and parasites. I am, however, still getting sick several times most days. I thought I was on the mend after having two good days, but then my symptoms came back. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow to see what the next step is and am trying not to be too whiny about it since in the grand scheme this is so incredibly minor. It may sound dumb, but I'm so tired of not wanting to eat (b/c I know I'll get sick) and not being able to work out (b/c I think it's a bad idea given how often I get sick); those are typically two of my favorite things to do :)

* I booked a round trip ticket to Los Angeles today (for $200) to meet Ella who I've known through the blogosphere for 3 years now! Exciting! I'll head out her way in mid-September.

* I'm finally reading The Shack.

* My grandfather is still in cardiac-ICU and stable but obviously not doing well.

* My sister is pregnant with baby #3, and I'm so excited. So are my nieces. Can't wait to meet this baby; due date is in January though, so we've got a while.

p.s. I'm grateful for Panera cinnamon crunch bagels with honey walnut cream cheese and *peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches on white bread grilled in butter; somehow these two meals don't seem to make me sick and sound appetizing.

Cupcakes, Parasites, and Sunshine

2009-06-25T18:14:00.008-05:00

Warning: If you're squeamish or say "TMI" a lot, you may not want to read this post.

It's been a crazy month with lots of good and not so-good things. As you guys know, my grandmother unexpectedly died a month ago. A week later I left for Nicaragua for two weeks. While I was in Nicaragua, I was sick for three days with diarrhea, and my grandfather (the widow) was admitted to the hospital and ultimately placed in cardiac ICU. When I returned from Nicaragua I tried working for two days, accomplishing little with constant calls and updates about my grandfather (and I drafted a will and various documents for him), so I headed to Macon to spend two nights there and be with my mom and aunt and visit with Papa. It was wonderful to be with them, and although I'm not paid when I take time off from work, I am so grateful to have a job where I can take time off to take care of much more important things. As for Papa, long story short he ended up having open heart surgery (and surprisingly surviving it thus far) and is currently stable.

My birthday: When I left my loft at 7:30 I found flowers and a beautiful box of a dozen cupcakes from my favorite bakery--Gigi's which just happens to be two hours away in Nashville--outside my door. Delighted, I headed back inside to begin tasting the assortment and packing up a few for my office. That evening Clay gave me a card and gift card to a spa; needless to say he really helped start my day off right. That night some friends, Clay, and I had dinner, then joined another friend on my roof for a delicious dessert she'd made for me, complete with singing, candles, and a Spanish birthday card involving a hamster.

Unfortunately my birthday marked the day the Nica sickness returned in full force, and I've been pretty constantly sick since then. Last night was so miserable that I made a doctor's appointment and am now doing a three day stool study, which is every bit as fun as it sounds, to determine if I have a parasite or bacteria. Please pray that it's bacteria because a parasite will be much more difficult to treat and get rid of (plus it's super gross to think about).

p.s. I am thankful for my Dad who I didn't do a very good job of celebrating this year but love very much. I'm also grateful for sunshine and the above-ground pool on my roof. It's such a perfect way to spend an afternoon.

The Birthday Girl

2009-06-23T09:53:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone— I am Ally’s friend Allison, also known as A2, and I am hijacking Ally’s blog to wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I knew that all of Ally’s faithful readers would want to know that today is her birthday and have a chance to leave some fun birthday comments.

Ally is a dear friend of mine. I have known her for about a year and a half, and I am so thankful that God brought her into my life. I admire the way she lives out her faith every day with sincerity and enthusiasm. Ally has a love for life and people. She lives with an energy and spontaneity that draws people to her. As you all know, she is an excellent communicator. Her blog posts always bring a smile to my face.

Ally, thanks for being an amazing friend, blogger and person. I know that God has great things in store for you this year. I love you—thank you for being my friend!

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

P.S. Ally usually ends with a “grateful P.S.” On that note, I am sure Ally is grateful for the fun birthday surprise left at her doorstep this morning. I will let her share more about that later…since I want to hear the story too!

Processing

2009-06-15T22:08:00.012-05:00

I wish life had a pause button, so I could have ample time to reflect and process without missing anything new. I've yet to take the time to adequately formulate my thoughts on my time in Nicaragua. I know I'm glad I went, but I want to think through some things before I say much more than that. My grandfather (who was widowed a few weeks ago) has been in the hospital in Macon since last week and is in intensive care, and I returned to work today after being gone 15 days...and am contemplating heading south to see him. Life feels really busy...and full...and good. God is providing all around me, and I'm grateful that I see that.

On Friday each child received a Jolly Rancher, and the little girl in the photograph with me came running to find me--and handed her Jolly Rancher to me. That may not sound like a big deal, but in this community children never receive candy (or much of anything material). She was so glad to have something to share, and it made me wish that I had a heart of that sort of gratitude, rushing to share something I've received instead of holding it so closely--finding more joy in having something to give to others than in possessing something new.

This is the pastor of the local church and his wife Lorena; this is how they get to the closet town with a store. Their daughter often rides on the same bike with them.

p.s. I'm grateful for friends...friends who welcome me back so warmly, who want to hear about my experience, who take papers to the hospital for my grandfather when I can't, who ask me personal questions because they care and want to help my grow in my faith, who text me randomly, and who obviously love me.

One look at you and I can't disguise....

2009-06-05T20:57:00.003-05:00

Child's Day was a lot of fun, and the children begged me to take their photographs. I was happy to oblige. They're beautiful, especially when dancing (and man, they can shake it) and hitting the pinata.

My teacher and I had my lesson in the afternoon and traveled by miserably hot public bus to Playa del Coco, which was so beautiful that I managed to get over the hour long ride. I must admit that I've wished I were home. I am pretty exhausted most of the time--probably from the constant heat and sweating. With that being said, I think coming a week early and learning about the culture, history, and language of Nicaragua was a good idea...for the most part, and now that I'm with my team I feel renewed. I'm sure my first shower with hot water in over a week helped...and bed with non-scratchy sheets and just being able to leave my valuables unlocked in my suitcase. I'm excited about meeting the folks in the village who we've been praying for and wanting to meet for months. Today we're visiting an orphanage, which is a first for me.

In case you're wondering, I'd recommend Nicaragua for an adventure but probably not for a vacation unless you want to shell out a good bit of money for American-priced hotels and transportation. Of course, if you're with other people, it's much easier to afford since you can split the costs, etc. It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Happy domingo amigas!

Today's lyrics are courtesy of the Managua airport, which I sat in for about 6 hours yesterday waiting for various team member flights and readaing Blink.

p.s. I'm happy for huge waves, avocados almost as big as my head, chubby babies, and all the other beautiful things created by God.

"It's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away"

2009-06-04T09:03:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I completed my very first Crossfit WOD (workout of the day) at the nearby gym Buena Vida Fitness Centre, which has no a/c and rendered me a completely sweaty, red-faced mess (Cici my face was redder than yours has ever been!). I bought a three day pass for $12, which is a bit expensive, but I really miss exercising and feel like running on the streets here would garner even more unwanted attention. Plus I've seen that crazy guy twice and don't want any more run-ins with him. Despite the heat, the gym seems great, and the owner walked me through the exercises, which was super helpful since I likely would have flaked out without the attention.

San Juan del Sur has ended up being a great little beach town to spend this week (sort of the third world version of Tarifa, Spain), and I´m grateful for the hours with my tutor and to do homework and relax by the pool.My tutor has continued to inform me of all sorts of things, covering sex, among other things, today. Tonight I ran into my Canadian friend at a restaurant on the beach, and we enjoyed some Nicaraguan dancing and music. Tomorrow morning I´m going with my teacher to the local public school for a fiesta....to celebrate Child´s Day (sort of like Mother´s Day I guess), then I´ll try to sit through three hours of tutoring; but the heat is so intense that you really need to be near a fan or a/c, which my school doesn´t have, or in the swimming pool. Maybe I can convince my teacher to join me at the pool. Hopefully this week will prepare me for next week (when we´ll be outside all day in a small village doing everything from construction to playing with children).

I´ve been thinking about my favorite things about Nica, and the colorfulness of the buildings--and even garbage bags--sticks out. I mean why have a brown garbage bag when it could be hot pink, right?

In other news, Clay and I have been g-chatting and emailing every day, and I miss him. Thankfully he won´t be gone the week after I return after all, but it looks like he´ll be in Asia for most of July. Oh well, absence seems to be making the heart grow fonder.

Remember today´s lyrics? Sinnead O´Connor brought to you courtesy of a pizza place here in San Juan del Sur.

p.s. I´m grateful for the delicious shrimp ceviche I had for dinner. It´s Pedro´s, the boy I sponsor through Compassion International, favorite meal, so I wanted to have it Central American style to get a better idea of what he loves so much.

"Honey came in & she caught me red-handed"

2009-06-02T17:52:00.002-05:00

Tutoring began yesterday, and it was a lot of information! I am enjoying learning about Nicaraguan government, history, and culture. I spent two hours doing homework yesterday...only to learn this morning that I'd done my homework for the entire week! Oh well...fortunately I brought a great workbook.

Entonces yesterday I made a brilliant discovery! There's a really nice, expensive hotel here called Piedras & Ojos that stands in sharp contrast to my hotel--Hotel Joxi,which costs $15 a night and includes a private bathroom, bed with scratchy sheets, insects, and fan and a/c. Unlike my modest lodgings, Piedras & Ojos has a pool or three. So I climbed up the hill yesterday to check it out. I felt obliged to buy a Coca Cola Light and spent two hours at the pool. I headed back today for my first good meal since arriving here (most of the restaurants here are catering to cheap tourists and serve nachos, pizza, etc.) and spent almost four hours beside the infinity pool. It's clean, safe, and I don't have to worry about waking up to find a man standing above me, trying to sell me stuff. So yeah for relaxation!

Today's lyrics are from Marie's Bar where I had the worst nachos of my life. Marie's Soda, however,makes their tortillas on the spot, thus serving some super yummy nachos. I've yet to find my beloved plantains but vow to do so before leaving San Juan del Sur.

p.s.I am so grateful to have three hours a day with a Nicaraguan tutor. I can (and have) asked her all sorts of random questions. I learned today,for example, that the president's wife does not shave under her arms and has quite a bit of hair there--and that the machistos really like it. Tomorrow she's taking me to the local school to check it out, and I'm taking them the supplies my mom bought for me to share. Fun!

"Put your hand in my hand baby, don't ever look back"

2009-05-31T20:41:00.002-05:00

Today's lyrics are brought to you compliments of a bus that is a slight step above a "chicken bus" in the Nicaragua transport system.

Nicaragua is bright, colorful, sticky, and relaxed. I´ve yet to bathe (correctly figuring there was no point) and am glad for all of the baby wipes my mom packed in my bag. I was so squished on the last bus I took that at one point that I thought I was going to get sick, then a guy groped my butt several times before I realized what he was doing. All of that being said, I am grateful I didn´t take the shuttle and soaked in all of the nuances of the culture here. I mean...who knows if the shuttle would have been playing Richard Marx, Roxette, Starship, and Lionel Richie? At some of the stops vendors would squish through those of us standing in the aisle, propping goods on their heads. If you order a drink, they pull out a plastic bag with ice in it and dump the bottled drink in the bag, tie the top of it, and insert a straw. I guess it´s a bit like the concept of a Capri Sun. They looked yummy, but I´d been warned about the water and feared the ice consumption.

I gave up that fear, however, to have a pina colada after I had a really scary experience near the beach in San Juan del Sur. I ventured out with my mom's very expensive, fabulous camera around my neck, which I will not do again, and as I neared the end of the main drag a white guy started screaming at me in English and Spanish. He called me a "puta" repeatedly, which is the Spanish word for "whore" and that was just the beginning of the nastiness. He told me how he'd rape me, etc. I ignored him completely, and he finally stopped walking.

Other than him and the groper on the bus, I've met some lovely people. I chatted with a sweet Nicaraguan lady on my first bus. At a middle of nowhere sort of bus stop, I met Alberto while I waited. He was a blessing because he fought off all the taxi drivers. Alberto is an aspiring English speaker, so we had about 20 minutes to practice our respective second languages with each other. On my last leg of the journey I invited a couple to join me in my cab. Turns out the girl was recently in a new friend's wedding! Yep, the husband sat next to me at game night on Friday, and 48 hours later I'm setting next to one of the bridesmaids from his wedding in a cab in Nicaragua. It's a small world.

p.s. I'm grateful that I had so many opportunities to use my Spanish today, had some beach time, and have had much desired reading time.

"It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without"

2009-05-31T06:32:00.002-05:00

It is 5:20 a.m. and already daylight here in Managua. I arrived around 9 p.m. last night after uneventful travel, although I did feel really anxious on the way to the airport. I ended up bringing a bit of work with me and being reminded several times over the past few days of what I hate about litigation. So much of it is unpredictable, and of course, it and deadlines stop for no one. But my anxiety seemed more related to visiting somewhere new--alone. I guess some of what I have read about the frequency of thefts here and the importance of being hyper-vigilant combined with my lack of preparedness and really just the adventure of a trip like this when traveling and planning alone rendered me a bit nervous on the drive to the airport.

Thankfully I arranged a shuttle from my hostel before arriving in Nicaragua, so I was greeted by a young boy holding a sign with my name after grabbing my bags (note I had to check 2 bags simply to avoid exceeding the 50 pound weight limit...oh well at least now they are combined into one). The shuttle was $15 and well worth it, especially since it was dark when I arrived. My private single room (without a restroom unfortunately) at Managua Backpackers Inn is perfectly adequate (with free internet and a fan in my room that made it cool enough), and Michael here has been very helpful. He arranged a cab to pick me up in a few hours to travel to the microbus station where I will arrange transportation to San Juan del Sur. I am generally not a taxi taking sort of person, but everything I have read about Managua has convinced me not to walk or take the bus.

Recognize the lyric? It´s what the shuttle driver was listening to on our ride.

p.s. I am glad my anxiety was fleeting and that I have enough adventurous spirit to do things like this. I realized last night what a gift it is to experience so many new things in just a few hours.

Ducks Are Not in a Row

2009-05-29T07:09:00.004-05:00

I leave for Nicaragua in about 36 hours and am pretty much unprepared, unpacked, and overwhelmed. I have a zillion things to do before I leave the office today and am operating on about four hours of sleep. Isn't it nice to know that, one way or another, things will work out? And that despite a long to-do list I will somehow make it to game night tonight because lets face it I'd rather give up sleep than game night with friends. Plus this is Clay's opportunity to see my obnoxious competitive game night side.

Speaking of which, I think last night was date #11. He cooked for the third time per my request, and it was great (and my very first time eating a fish taco). I'm still surprised by how much I like Clay and enjoy being with him. He's just really easy, fun company and being with him is exciting and comfortable at the same time. I don't think I've written much about him, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask. He's very bright & well read, a great conversationalist, disciplined and focused (including with his relatively new Christian faith and fitness), thoughtful (gave me a "happy day" gift--Lonely Planet's guide for Nicaragua), a fantastic communicator (I know how he feels and where he stands), is funny, and an easy date (he's come to two get-togethers with me and requires no attention--mingling with my friends with ease). He also has a mullet wig and great taste in music (and can sit and listen with me for hours instead of watching a movie).

We'll see if distance makes the heart grow fonder as I'll be in Nicaragua for two weeks, then he leaves a day after I get back for a week. Then we're both going to be out of town for a long weekend. So I guess we'll catch up with each other in July :)

I arrive in Nica on Saturday night, and on Sunday morning I'll travel to San Juan del Sur by bus (saving about $37 by not taking a shuttle) and start daily meeting with a Spanish tutor on Monday. Hoping that my Spanish comes back with a vengeance and that I learn new vocabulary rapidly, so that I won't need to use a translator the next week (during the mission trip in a small village with a group from my church).

p.s. I'm grateful for your encouraging words and prayers over the last week. My family is doing as well as can be expected, but now that the funeral and arrangements are behind us, I imagine my grandfather, mom, and aunts' grief will really kick in.

A Bit Surreal

2009-05-22T19:44:00.002-05:00

So which would you rather read first? Good news or bad news? If you want bad news first, read part 1 first. If you want good news first, read part 2 first.

Part 1

Bad news isn't what I'd call this, but I guess most people would. Long story short: My maternal grandmother unexpectedly and pretty suddenly died yesterday. She was at the public library when she fell to the ground and most likely had a heart attack; she died within the hour at the nearby hospital. Thankfully I was working at home yesterday, which made it easier to make/take multiple phone calls and to just cry and grieve. It feels surreal to know that she's gone and that when I get to Woodland tomorrow that she won't be there.

I think it's sort of cool that it happened at the library because (1) it spared my grandfather (who isn't in good health at all) from seeing it and (2) the library was one of her favorite places. When I stayed with her in the summer we'd always go together and stay up really late reading each night. She adored reading. I'm also glad it was quick and painless. But I easily find the most comfort in my knowledge that my Grandma has accepted Christ as her Savior and knew that she was saved by His grace alone and not by any of the good things she had done (not the least of which was teaching high school math in a very rough high school and serving as a faithful Sunday school teacher).

Part 2

I think I was just kidding...I'll write about dates/outings #s 5, 6, 7, 8, & 9 later. I'm worn out and headed over three hours south tomorrow for visitation and then Grandma's funeral on Sunday.

p.s. I'm grateful that Grandma died now and not while I'm in Nicaragua. I'm grateful that my mom is surrounded by people who love her. I'm grateful that I have a King who adores me, cares for me, and can comfort my Papa. I'm grateful that I called Grandma two weeks ago and talked longer than I really wanted to after a long day of work. I'm grateful that we'd had specific conversations about her faith. And I'm grateful she was my Grandma.

And The Winner Is...

2009-05-14T21:04:00.004-05:00

So my official time was 37:56, which I actually learned on Wednesday when Accidentally Me graciously admitted that she had not actually "guessed" as required.* Two other commenters also confessed using some internet resources, so they are also disqualifed.

Given those two exclusions, the winner is (drum roll please) Jennifer with a guess of 37:33. Nice work!! So what's it going to be? Shall I send sweets or music? If sweets....cookies, cupcakes (I'm thinking frosting would need to be in a separate container and not cream cheese...which leaves buttercream, peanut butter, chocolate, marshmallow, or a combination of any or all of these or anything you can dream up), buckeyes, Oreo bark, Oreo truffles, chess squares. The options are almost endless!

In other news, date # 4 with Clay was a good time. We grilled out, and if someone would cook dinner for me, I'd eat healthy every night! Tilapia, bell peppers, pineapple, corn, zucchini, and a yummy salad. So date # 5 is Saturday evening.

* While I did not specifically state in the game announcing post that internet sleuthing was not permitted, the word "guess" means to predict without sufficient information. I know you guys all know how to use the internet; I wanted to see how close you could guess by chance, calculation, etc. Next time I'll have you guess my time before I run the race :)

Random aside: Why does Krispy Kreme not glaze it's chocolate covered creme filled doughnuts?

Alright, time to meet with a client. Thank you guys for playing. It was run to read your guesses.

p.s. I'm grateful I was able to finally see my oldest niece (and step-niece) play softball last night. Yeah for living closer to family!

You Could Be the Lucky Winner

2009-05-11T22:05:00.006-05:00

The Rescues' "Break Me Out" has been on repeat for the last two weeks or so, and the song pretty well got me through the road race I ran on Saturday morning. Why did I think running four miles on a hilly mountain at 8 a.m. would be fun? It was my first road race in about six years, and I never seemed to catch my breath and had a side stitch for the first time in ages. There was no mile marker for mile two, so I kept running, thinking I still wasn't half-way through which really psyched me out. Starting my Saturday with my friend CC was really fun though, and afterward I went to a yoga class (thanks to a free one week pass...paying $14/class wouldn't fit in my budget) for 75 minutes at a for-real yoga studio (as opposed to yoga at the gym where you can hear the blaring music and weirdos can watch you through the window). Very chill and calming. Tomorrow I'm trying hot yoga...100+ degrees. Should be interesting.

Saturday I baked for over three hours for our Mother's Day lunch and created something delicious....chocolate cupcake slathered with marshmallow cream and topped with peanut butter frosting. Crazy good combo.

Speaking of sheer yumminess, the other day I made caramel cheese cream frosting for the first time for a baby shower at my place, and it was so sweet it almost burned. I highly recommend the recipe.

Saturday night was the third date with my neighbor Clay. We went to a wonderful restaurant that was new to me and ate outside, sitting for several hours and just talking. Then we made the mistake of renting an inappropriate third date movie: The Reader. The first half was pretty much just a woman in her mid-30s (Kate Winslet) having sex with a 16 year old boy over and over. I could opine further, but I'll refrain. As soon as the sex stuff started, Clay asserted that "for the record" I'd chosen the movie. Sunday when I got back from church I found a book I wanted to borrow and note outside my door--fun surprise. Funny, we just now exchanged phone numbers. Date #4 is on Wednesday; we're grilling out.

Sunday my family had a great Mother's Day lunch at my sister's house, and she made super cute fruit kebobs. It was fun to be with my nieces, and I watched another mediocre movie with my mom (Nights in Rodanthe) that night.

So wanna play a game? Whoever comes the closest to guessing my time for the 4 mile road race gets a prize. And lets make the prize cupcakes/cookies/sweets of your choice or for more healthy people some great music. You have until Friday at 9 a.m. to guess.

p.s. I'm grateful that I'm working at home tomorrow and can chill/work on my sofa, at a coffee shop, or on my balcony.

Two Second Dates....

2009-05-07T12:51:00.009-05:00

Last Thursday I had my second date with MJ. I had a good time and still think he's a great guy, but we see to lack chemistry. I just don't care if we go out again. He emailed me the next day, but I've yet to respond. Since there weren't any questions in the e-mail and I don't want to respond, I think it's okay not to respond. I figure unless he asks me out again, there's nothing to address, right?

Last week my neighbor (lets call him "Clay") wrote, saying that we should grab dinner soon. While I had fun on our first date, I was concerned about two red flags. But I like Clay and am attracted to him (attraction tends to be unfortunately elusive on my end for some weird reason I attribute to pheromones), so I decided a week night date would be ok (my dating logic, or lack thereof, knows no bounds). Plus I invited our neighbors to join us since it was Cinco de Mayo, which he was a good sport about. We ended up having an hour or more together before my friends/neighbors showed up, and I realized that I enjoy his company too much to not reconsider. He's fun, funny, and intelligent, and it seems that one of the red flags may have resolved itself and that (no surprise) I may have been a little quick to judge. So proceeding cautiously. He asked me out for this weekend, so we'll see.

Oh weird side note, in my post about my first date with neighbor Clay I referenced feeling like he'd slipped a Ruffie in my drink (because I was having so much trouble keeping my eyes open), and oddly he joked about having done so and that I'd handled it well. Odd coincidence.

In other news, the prom preparation and photography were a lot of fun. Here are some of the photographs.

p.s. I'm grateful for being healthy, strong, and able to take the stairs.

Vote for Pedro

2009-05-05T11:01:00.001-05:00

The pastor of the church I worshiped at in Nashville recently went to India with Compassion International. During his trip he posted the following anonymous exchange on his blog, and it's been on my mind ever since:

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.”

“Well, why don’t you ask Him?”

“Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”

It's easy to ponder this sort of question and then shove it into the back of my mind, but one simple and easy way I'm trying to make a difference is through Compassion International. I've been skeptical of organizations that promise to use my money for children in other countries, wondering how much would be used for administrative costs and how much would actually benefit the alleged child. Last year, however, a blogger who I trust really looked into Compassion, how it works, etc. and whole-heartedly endorsed the organization. His investigation extinguished my objections, and I no longer had a reason (or excuse) not to sponsor a child. So I began sponsoring Pedro who lives in Peru. Pedro is 14 years old, likes soccer and ceviche, and his favorite subjects are art and social studies.

I am honored to correspond with Pedro and be a part of his life, and it's only $32 a month to help provide him with food, clean water, an education, health care--and perhaps most importantly--hope. Isn't it incredible that we're so wealthy that we can help provide so much for a child simply by eating out three fewer times this month?

Click here if you'd like to see some of the children waiting for sponsors.

p.s. I'm grateful for the Chattanooga Market. Sunday was Latin Day, and there were adorable children dancing, yummy burritos, and cheap fresh strawberries.

Puppies, Proms, Dates, & Rainbows

2009-04-30T11:21:00.002-05:00

Prom:

Saturday my friend Chasie’s little sister and her friends are getting read for the prom at my place. Then I’ll go with little sister and her boyfriend to other friends’ homes for photographs. Since I’m playing “mom” I think this means I need to give the prom “sex talk,” right? Fun! I think it’s sweet that little sister wants to hang out with me.

Dating Update:

Two weeks ago I had a 10 1/2 hour (first) date with Match Guy # 5 ("James"). We met at a park in Nashville at 1:30 and with the exception of a walk to my car to retrieve cupcakes (chocolate cake with insanely delicious peanut butter frosting if you must know) we did not move until after dark. Remarkable, really since if nothing else I usually use the restroom every hour or two and am pretty fidgety. I was worried A2, who I was staying with, would think I'd been killed and chopped into pieces, so we finally got up so I could grab my phone and text her. Then we went to dinner and parted ways around midnight.

Needless to say, I really enjoyed talking with James and found him to be as well-read and interesting as expected. It took me several days to process all of our conversation. It only took me one day, however, to very much appreciate the CD he gave me. His profile stated that “It's not at all a stretch to say that I make one of the top 3 mix tapes in Nashville,” and I won’t disagree. I feel richer by knowing him.

This evening I have my first second date with a Match guy--MJ--the guy who brought cupcakes to our first meeting a month ago. We’ve talked once or twice since then and emailed a little so no incredible momentum, but we’ll see. He seems like a nice, active, enthusiastic guy, so if nothing else I’m sure I’ll enjoy our time together.

In other news, I may have a new case that I’m really excited about....lets just say I’ve been doing “research” on Myspace. I love employment law. Plus a co-worker just discovered a bakery a mile away from our office with delicious cupcakes (or at least the two I just ate were).

Happy Thursday!

p.s. I am thankful for strawberries and my mom growing them in her backyard. Yummy!

Things I Say I Hate But Must Not Really*

2009-04-29T08:33:00.003-05:00

1. Annoying Facebook status updates....because if I really hated them, (1) I'd quit FB or (2) at least not blog/talk about them. Wait, that's not really true. The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. So perhaps hate is the correct terminology. Hmm.

2. "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" This show was seriously disturbing but I watched it for at least 30 minutes after I realized how appalling it was. (3) It was even more disturbing than my trips to Walmart.

(4) The Hills (although I haven't really watched in months)

(5) Fast food. I had my annual visit to Krystal a week ago, and I'm sure I'll have McDonald's fries at some point this year too. And I'll occasionally eat a salad from Zaxby's when my secretary offers to pick it up. And I had a dream cone from Chik-fil-a last week.

(6) Chain restaurants like Chilis and Applebees. Ok, Applebees is pretty nasty, but I like the blue drinks, queso, and fajitas at Chilis. But I still wouldn't choose to go there.

(7) The View. This show is so annoying. How do I know it's so annoying, you might ask. Well I know because I sometimes watch it...or at least the first 15 minutes of "hot topics" in which my blood pressure often rises to an unhealthy number. The hosts are simply asinine yet....I watch.

An aside: I'm proud to say I've not watched a Lifetime movie in at least two years (see my indifference). My Lifetime viewing is restricted to Golden Girls.

*Generally inspired by Brandy's post.

p.s. I'm grateful for a relatively new friend "CC" who is really competitive, great at word games, completed the BFF application to my satisfaction, and invited me to do a 4 mile race with her in two weeks.

Obviously Newsworthy....

2009-04-22T23:25:00.003-05:00

So it looks like Time read my blog pos t and realized they had an important news story on their hands. Hence the article "How Not to Be Hated on Facebook: 10 More Rules."

Since the election I've watched less than 2 cumulative hours of news on television (thanks to "journalists" like Campbell Brown who make me want to buy a gun just so I can shoot my television; seriously she should just take a seat on The View because that's the quality of her "work."). Sometimes I read the CNN ticker on the television in front of the gym treadmill, and the most significant recent news stories are evidently (1) a faux pas occurred involving the Queen of England and the Obamas (that was a few weeks ago but it was clearly VERY important), (2) Oprah joined Twitter, and (3) someone used my beloved Craig's List to find murder victims. And now, of course, there's the emergency state of Facebook and annoying status updates. Am I missing anything?

Side note: there's only one thing I disagree with on Time's list:

"Cryptic status updates about your mental state — "Rachel is trying so hard," "Rachel wishes things were different," "Rachel is starting her life over" — don't make you sound intriguing, just lonely and pathetic."

Maybe this does sound pathetic, but I tend to think not. Pathetic is a strong word. Plus these updates are much better than the minute by minute details of someone's evening, right? And it's sort of fun to ponder what Rachel might mean....

HT: Pete

p.s. I'm grateful that a family member is taking my great Aunt Rene on a week long trip to the mountains. She's been looking forward to this for months, and it'll break up some of the loneliness.

p.p.s. Instead of taking another quiz, read these articles from Time. Hilarious. I especially like this random 25 things "When I was little, I pretended my bike was a horse named Satan."

Glorious Weather, Lemons, and Facebook Status Updates

2009-04-21T16:00:00.003-05:00

Today is the sort of day that pretty much mandates rejoicing and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"...if you ever took truly to heart the ultimate goodness and joy of things, even at their bleakest, the need to praise someone or something for it would be so great that you might even have to go out & speak of it to the birds of the air."
-Frederick Buechner

Today I avoided office drama/stress and slept until 9:00, did some planks and work, took a nap, worked some more, ran errands with windows down & music blaring, bought strawberries for $1.50, and have knocked out a solid third of my "accomplishment list." Any minute now, I am going to resume working....

Evidence that "trivial" is still on my mind: The residents of my hometown seem to have learned recently about Facebook, so I'm "hiding" people from my news feed more often than ever. The status updates and quizzes (because who doesn't want to know which Lord of the Rings character she is most like?) are killing me. I've learned that "Candy" gets her upper lip waxed, and in the most inappropriate waxing revelation yet, I learned that another acquaintance's husband gives her Brazilian waxes, saving their family $75/month. Way to go with the budget cuts dear Facebook friend, but that image almost made me throw up (since you guys don't know her I'm assuming you'll be ok). And then the ones that just generally annoy me include this one: "Buffy Beebop is coloring my hair, tanning, then to the shower, head to the dreaded Wal-Mart, going to dinner at my mother in-law's, and this evening heading to work!!!"

One of my favorite status updates of late: Brian "I was really wondering what are everyone's top 5 brands of pastrami. Oh, you've already taken a quiz letting me know? Thanks..."

Given my annoyance, you might think my Facebook status updates are clever and witty. Au contraire, they are not, but I do manage to avoid detailing every single thing I've done on a given day (that's what blogs are for, duh. See the third paragraph of this post.) or matters of really personal hygiene. I am so glad I have standards. Gah. Maybe I should tell my hometown about blogspot....

p.s. I'm grateful that I was able to attend church at Cross Point on Sunday. Pete reminded me that God is far less concerned about where I'm going than who I'm becoming. And he pointed out that we're often seeking God--not so that we can know Him--but because of what we think He will give us. I'm totally guilty and needed that gut check.

Trivial?

2009-04-16T09:44:00.003-05:00

Two weeks ago I was looking at an ingredients list which noted that the product included "trivial amounts" of somesuperlongwordthatprobablymeanstheingredientissuperfakeandcausescancer. Since then I've been thinking about the word trivial and the lies we tell ourselves and each other because what fun would it be to just read the product label and not allow it to provoke deep thought? That would be way too easy, right?

Typically trivial is defined as "of very little importance or value; insignificant."

Over the years there are a lot of things I've trivialized in an attempt to make them less painful.

"It didn't really matter anyway." "I don't really care." "Oh, it's ok. Really, it's no big deal. I shouldn't have said anything."

I especially like to act like something doesn't matter from the get-go...that way, I figure, it won't hurt if it doesn't work out. It's like the Gin Blossoms said--if you don't expect too much, you might not be let down. That verse sort of became my modus operandi for years. I was so tired of feeling hurt and let down, so it seemed easier to not have expectations or hopes at all.

My freshman year of college my boyfriend and I were at different schools and two hours apart. I proposed an "open" relationship and wonder how much of that proposal was motivated by his previous unfaithfulness and my desire to protect myself; after all, if it's open, he's not doing anything wrong, right? And if I'm kissing other boys, how he treats me won't hurt so much.

So I'm trying to be intentional about being hopeful, admitting that things matter, and being cool with the fact that I'm going to be hurt by people--and then letting myself hurt. A friend pointed out to me that whenever I get close to something painful I quickly toss in a rejoinder or other qualifier to exit the moment. Sometimes I think I do that because my problems and hurts feel trivial in light of how wonderful my life is overall--as if a great life makes complaining or hurting unacceptable. Or maybe I'm trying to make something less painful by quickly jumping to the good.

And then sometimes I wonder if I qualify the hurtful matter (lets say feeling rejected or forgotten) with something positive (how someone else values me) because I fail to realize my value and still trying to prove that I am, in fact, important.

And, this, friends is why I'm not reading any more product labels.

In dating news, tomorrow I'm meeting Match Guy #5 who I've easily enjoyed corresponding with the most and also the one who reads my blog. We've agreed to meet up in the early afternoon, see what we think, and if we're both a "go," go out on a "proper" date that night. Something about this arrangement makes me think of a dating show. Maybe we should each bring a rose and let it sit in plain sight the entire time (like on the one-on-one dates on The Bachelor) to remind us of the upcoming decision.

p.s. I'm grateful that the cashier at Sonic gave me three lemon slices this morning to go with my Diet Coke.

Who Has the Most Wrong with Him?

2009-04-14T22:53:00.005-05:00

I was so tired on my date on Friday night that I briefly wondered if my neighbor had slipped Ruffies into my drink. Then I reasoned that if he had I would probably have been taking my clothes off or something. Plus I was drinking water with dinner, and I think you're supposed to mix it with alcohol. I read way too much true crime in middle school.

It was fun to go on a proper date with a non-internet person. Conversation was easy, albeit riddled with red flags, and after dinner (checked another restaurant off my list) we went to the neighborhood bar for drinks. By that point I was almost deliriously tired but having enough fun to want to keep going, so I just had one martini and proceeded to engage my neighbor in my made-up game "who has the most wrong with him?" It's a stupid game but fun to see what people 'fess up to and how creative they become. My neighbor did surprisingly well and has written to say he's come up with a few more. There's a lot wrong with me, so we may need to go for round two.

The dating scale won't work for this date because I had a really good time but wouldn't go out with him again. With that being said, I'd definitely hang out with him again as friends...in a group or something since I sort of have a rule* against being friends with guys that I find subjectively attractive. Maybe a few of us could have a neighborly outing and include him.

p.s. I'm grateful for my upcoming three day weekend in Nashville and face time with two of my favorite people.

* I'm sort of fond of rules and find that wide margins work best for me in this arena.

I Am Defiantly Splitting Infinitives

2009-04-12T15:39:00.006-05:00

One of my bosses is an English/Blue Book sort of nerd, and I must admit that I am at times too. I've been reading some of his interrogatory responses in hopes of avoiding the recreation of the wheel so to speak and ran across several oddly written sentences. I realized he was trying to avoid splitting infinitives and wondered what you guys thought about that (or if you ever think about such trivial* things).

Here's two examples:

"Defendant Bank failed appropriately to monitor the development of the collateral."

"Defendant failed timely to notify this Plaintiff."

Awkward. I'm rewriting. This reminds me of the painful way people sometime rewrite questions so that they won't end with a preposition, e.g. "On what did you step?" This reminds me of a joke I heard 15 years ago:

A midwestern farmer is crossing Harvard square searching for the library. He approaches a stately looking gentleman, who happens to be a Harvard English professor, and he asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me where the library is at?"**

The professor looks somewhat disdainfully and replies, "At Harvard," he sniffs "we do not end sentences with prepositions."

After a pause the farmer turns back to the professor and asks, "Well then, can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"

p.s. I'm grateful that my mom and step-dad joined me for church and lunch today. And while no words or p.s. comment can express my gratitude for my Savior and Father's sacrifice, I am deeply grateful for the hope, love, and strength of my risen King.

* Just thought I'd let you know that this word has been on my mind a lot lately.
** I actually hate the way this question sounds. The use of "at" is redundant but pointing out that a question ends with a preposition is even more annoying.

And they burned all the books and the Chevrolets

2009-04-10T09:21:00.005-05:00

Match Date #3 was a 7 .9 which means I would go out with him again, but if he doesn't ask me out that's fine too. Will seems to meet the typical parameters of the guys I've dated in the past (not sure if that's good or bad) except he's a Democrat; with the exception of the last election we have the exact same voting/support record since 1988...and both were glad (at the tender age of ten) that Bush Sr. beat Dukasis. Although I'm definitely not angling for political debates, Will visibly holds some strong opinions and that's attractive.

Which sort of leads into what I feel like is missing in the three guys I've met--they've just not been particularly engaging, charismatic, and/or animated. There hasn't been that sort of initial connection that results in a three hour conversation, I guess. I just realized the other day that because I tend to get wound up about things, sometimes I think more staid individuals make me feel a bit like a clown. Sometimes they just don't know what to do with me (or perhaps are annoyed). It was sort of that way with Carter, which I didn't realize for several months. Last spring my boss asked if Carter appreciated how different I was from most girls and my quirkiness. I realized I didn't know, so I asked Carter and his response was that he wasn't sure yet and that it bothered him that he couldn't "read" me more easily.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have a real life date tonight. Or I'd rather call it a neighborly outing. My cute neighbor (who I've never seen in our actual building) asked me out for drinks weeks ago, and we're just now coordinating for tonight....dinner and a party at his friend's house, which feels a bit risky given the amount of time it could eat up... but I figure it'd be good to meet some different people in Chatty.

Check out what I've deemed my Easter tee shirt...who needs an Easter dress? (Just for you Ella:)

I just saw this lovely bumper sticker:

And now I'm off to a Good Friday service with friends. Hope your Friday is good too.

p.s. I'm thankful for Zyrtec D...it's helping a little.

Match Date #3

2009-04-08T23:59:00.000-05:00

What: First date with another Match guy
Who: "Will"
When: Today after work
Where: Starbucks
Why: Well here's what I know about him....

Christian/Protestant (attends a non-denominational church)
30 years old, 6'3, "athletic and toned," blond/blue-eyed, lives in Atlanta but frequently travels in North Georgia (where I work)
Self-employed real estate attorney
Really into Crossfit, which should make Jennifer happy, and does triathlons, etc. Very active. Loves Dead Poets' Society.
He's in a Facebook group called "People who are from Tennessee and hate UT." That makes me smile. Orange is an awful color on almost everyone.
And the "Match O Meter" shows us matching up in every category except exercise (and that doesn't match b/c I checked the wrong box).

We've been e-mailing for two weeks and trying to get together for over a week now...finally our schedules have synced up. And you know, I'm not dreading this at all. Yeah positive attitude and totally "normal" seeming boy.

In other Match news, MJ, the Chicago guy who brought me a half dozen delicious cupcakes, has emailed and called. While I like him and enjoy talking to him, my gut is that we might be a good fit but not an awesome fit (but what do I know?). He's asked me twice when I was going to be in Atlanta again, and both times I've said that I didn't have any plans to be. I finally threw out that my hometown (where I occasionally stay during the work week) isn't that far from where he lives--about 40 minutes, so maybe we could work something out next time I'm there. He liked that idea and asked me to let him know the next time I'd be there, but honestly I think he should ask me out on a proper date and just come to Chatty. Plus it'll be at least another week and a half or more before I can be in Calhoun and available for dinner (b/c usually when I'm there I'm spending time with my family).

That's enough updating for now. There are three more guys, I think, but short of making a chart it's just too much for one post. And yes, it feels weird to be "talking" to so many different guys, but other than telling a few to take a rain check what do I do? Oh, I think one may be reading my blog (thanks Sitemeter); if so, hi there :) I found his blog, but then felt guilty about reading it so I stopped. I am impressed with my restraint.

p.s. I'm grateful for my evening home alone with no plans and only one phone call.

I Wish I Were the Verb to Trust and Never Let You Down

2009-04-08T09:23:00.003-05:00

Last weekend I forced myself to have one of those uncomfortable conversations with a friend. I e-mailed him on Thursday about talking so that (1) I'd obligate myself to do what I needed to do and (2) to give him a heads up. I began by apologizing for not coming to him sooner with my concerns. I had been praying about talking to him since January but never felt a peace about talking to him (or not talking to him). Two weeks ago I was working on my Bible study when I realized this prayer request fell into the arena of "you don't need to pray about this because the Bible has already told you what God would have you do."* Even when I believe someone has wronged me, it's always my move to reconcile or repair our relationship. I'm not sure how that's escaped me for two months.

The conversation went well, and I said what I needed to say....and immediately felt a weight lifted. It helped that I went into the conversation with no expectations of my friend, realizing that I can only control what I do and say. And you know, these "awkward" conversations are becoming a little bit easier for me. And an upside of having them is that I spend a lot more time in the Word and in prayer in the days leading up to them out of my desire for the Lord's leading and wisdom.

One of the Match boys shared this last week, and I've made it my prayer several times since then. My favorite part is in italics.

"My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

~Thomas Merton~

** It's sort of like praying about whether you should be unfaithful to your spouse, for example. The Bible has made the answer to this clear, so there's no need to go ask God about it. He's already spoken.

p.s. I'm grateful that large drinks are $1 before 10 a.m. at Sonic.

I want to be more concerned about what might be than about being right about what might not be

2009-04-03T12:59:00.010-05:00

I've been thinking about what it means to love our neighbors (not the literal or typical definition but the one given by Jesus and in the OT--anyone I come into contact with who lacks resources, the poor, the immigrant, etc.). And as I thought through what I already do and what I could do to be more loving, my mind wondered down the path of trying to figure out what to do about this one person in my life who I've been trying to love well for the last 8 months despite how infuriating and exhausting he can be. Unlike many, he has access to resources and opportunities that he doesn't avail himself of, making poor choices and not using what he has wisely. Am I wasting time on him that could be better spent helping someone who wants to help himself more?

As I thought, I realized that I was sort of like the lawyer (imagine that) in Luke 10:25-37 in the Parable of the Good Samaritan. I'm more interested in defining and limiting the definition of "neighbor" than just loving and taking action. Over the years, I've seen this a lot in my middle class circles--both Christian and otherwise. We'll talk about helping a group/person and somehow get lost in reasons not to ("well they aren't really helping themselves" or "maybe this isn't the best way to do it" or "I probably shouldn't take anything else on right now"). No doubt, a lack of love is often easy to justify.

And it's easy for me to think I get it all so wrong (living in my loft, driving my SUV, typing on my laptop and listening to my ipod and basically living a life of incredible physical comfort and luxury) that I just give up and push all of the poverty and injustice of this world out of my mind. Or I conclude that I just need to move to a third world country (as if my neighbors here don't need love too). In reality I just need to do. I need to write a letter to Pedro in Peru instead of running that last mile. I need to love my infuriating friend well even if he is making destructive decisions. I need to write that check instead of constantly counting the cost (which I don't do so much when it's something I want). I need to have that uncomfortable conversation. I need to talk to the homeless person rather than look away. And I need to humbly rely on God because I know I may be getting it all wrong, but surely it pleases Him that I'm trying no matter how feeble my attempts are. Here are some of the questions I'm asking myself:

"Am I more aware of what I don't have (or want) or of what others need?"

"Am I offering things that don't cost me anything?"

Do I want to give myself away? Do I really believe that I have to lose my life to find it?

p.s. I'm grateful for this video. I didn't like it until 4:30 (thought it was sort of gay; I'm not the interpretative dance kind), but then it totally affected me. Now I'm a fan :)

Excited....about Two (or Three) Match Guys!

2009-03-31T10:07:00.000-05:00

Just when we thought I was hard-hearted and completely indifferent to online dating (and destined to live alone in my bathrobe with 12 cats) I received two e-mails that actually made me happy, and for the first time I talked to a Match guy on the phone. I also canceled my Match membership. Match tried to entice me with another three months for the price of one, but I don't want to spend so much time on the computer, especially now that spring is here. Plus I'm emailing with more than five guys, which is plenty.

I spent most of last weekend in Atlanta and met up with the Match guy I briefly mentioned a few weeks ago. "MJ" is from Chicago, lives just north of Atlanta, has a super cool job (sports marketing), is 6'5, and seems committed to his faith. AND he arrived at Starbucks with a half dozen cupcakes from a bakery I'd mentioned to him over three weeks ago. That really set the right tone :) It was really thoughtful and just nice to see a guy making an effort like that. We talked for 2 and 1/2 hours; he asked about grabbing dinner, but I wanted to get back to Calhoun to see my nieces before their bedtime. He e-mailed me yesterday to say how much he enjoyed talking face to face and that he looked forward to doing it again. And I didn't even have to ask you guys if I should write him back either.

In other Match news, I e-mailed a guy about two weeks ago. I rarely initiate contact with boys, but this guy's profile was fabulous; he shared his Myers-Briggs type, mentioned C.S. Lewis, and made reference to working with the youth at his church. And it was all so cleverly written. He wrote me back last week (b/c he had not been a member when I wrote him), and I've been as smitten as one can be from an exchange of e-mails. I had forgotten how much I can love written correspondence (and spend hours on it), and the more this guy shares the more (1) I like him and (2) realize how he is totally not my usual type. For example, he seems very artsy and played with the symphony and sang at a jazz jam on Sunday. He's 5'9 and from New England. He's sensitive. Fingers crossed that if we ever meet, I am attracted to him. He lives in Nashville, and I'm going there in a few weeks....so we'll see.

There's another Match guy I'd like to meet, but this post is long enough.

p.s. I'm grateful that the winter funk seems to be all gone and that my heart is more thankful and joyous.

Match Date #1

2009-03-24T09:33:00.007-05:00

This wasn't actually my very first Match date since I did a free trial (or three) over the last few years. I even developed a dating scale for ease of reference in January of 2007.

While I'm not sure where to rank this date on my handy scale, it was certainly not painful. We met at a Greek restaurant I had never tried. "Brent" was dressed well and looked like his photographs. Conversation was fairly easy--not terribly engaging or interesting--but not boring or awkward. He shared about his family, his church, and two of his past relationships. Our waiter was rushing us, so after we finished eating we walked to Starbucks next door and chatted for another hour or so.

I left the date not caring if I ever hear from Brent again. But since I didn't have a bad time (and since I'm a dork I really enjoyed our free will v. Calvinism discussion), and he's a perfectly nice guy...but then throw in the distance factor (he lives 1 and 1/2 hours away)...I wonder if I should give it another date. He wrote me that same night, thanking me for meeting him (as he knows my time is valuable:) and saying that he hopes he has the privilege of my company again sometime. There's some part of me that feels guilty about the idea of him driving 3 hours (round-trip) for another date, especially since I wouldn't want to plan some super long date but would just want to do dinner again. And honestly my interest level isn't to where I'd drive to see him. But maybe since I'm the girl I shouldn't worry about all of that. Thoughts?

p.s. I'm grateful that I finally had a reason to use the cupcake courier my mom gave me for Christmas. And check out the rainbow cupcakes (to match the birthday girl's multi-colored windsuit)....I split the batter into bowls, added food coloring, and then added a spoonful of each colored batter to each cupcake liner. I'm out of red food coloring, so I want to do it again when I can have pink/red/purple too.

Dress to Impress

2009-03-22T12:41:00.007-05:00

Last night we celebrated my friend's 27th birthday with a skating party at the local roller rink. We didn't realize it was "Hip Hop and Jam Night" and that we'd be listening to rap all night long; of course the 200 black children (and some of their mamas) didn't realize some old white folks would be dressing up and acting a fool. I was the first one of our group to enter the rink, and most of the seated crowd snickered and laughed as I walked in. A minute later I heard an audible gasp from the crowd and turned around to see everyone taking photographs of my guy friend dressed in tight red knit overalls and jacket a la the 70s. He nonchalantly strolled in, thought "what would Derek Zoolander do?," and proceeded to pop his collar. I'll bet his photographs was taken well over 100 times by the children there.

My costume was especially nice as the pieces of material blew gently in the breeze as I skated around the rink. A few children said "Go fairy, go fairy, go" and asked me why we were dressed up. I explained that it was my friend's birthday and asked them "don't you dress up for your friends' birthdays?"

Several children asked my friend Drew (see the photo to the left) why he was wearing goggles. His answer: "Guy, safety doesn't take a vacation." Oliver also spread the message of safety as he wore a helmet with his suede vest, plaid pants, and 80s Polo shirt. One child asked him how he got so big (he's 6'5 and of course even taller with skates). Oliver explained that it was because he ate vegetables. The child dubiously responded "Are you sure that's all?" After Oliver said yes, the kid asked him if he wanted to skate together. Adorable.

So I finally talked myself into going on a Match date. Tonight. I wrote a guy who lives in Knoxville (right under two hours away) back after procrastinating for several days and told him a few nights that I was free. He wrote back and suggested tonight. I am trying to have a good attitude about it. I'm still not sure what my mental block is about all of this. Maybe it's because I love being alone so much--and having lots of unplanned time--that I'm overly negative about planning something that might not be fun. Of course, I need to focus on the fact that it might be fun. Duh.

p.s. I'm grateful that I've correctly chosen 30 out of 40 games and am in second place with my "Unicorn" bracket. Although this basketball stuff has been stressful, it's definitely fun (now that I'm in second place).....

Would I Recommend Match?

2009-03-18T00:03:00.003-05:00

Bone posed this question earlier this week in a comment, so here goes it.

My friend wrote the following about his experience on Match: "I would compare it to searching for a slice of hot pizza in a pasture. There's always a chance you'll find one but you're more likely to run into a thousand cow pies first!" Based on my three weeks (and a ton of hours) on Match, I'd have to agree.

Match reports that my profile has been viewed 2,278 times, which is sort of creepy. I've have read and deleted over 100 e-mails without responding (but for at least half of those I read their profile). Received a lot of "winks." I'd guesstimate that I have responded to less than 25 men, including one very attractive guy in Atlanta who wrote me three times because he was dumbfounded that I didn't respond to his emails ("I am surprised you did not write me back. Not to be cocky at all, but I get so many nice compliments about my profile. I would of thought you would of found it very appealing."). I could tell my lack of reply was making his head hurt, so I finally wrote back and explained why I wasn't interested.

I think that if I were not looking for a Christian whose faith is similar to mine, my Match experience would be very different and more positive. I'm ruling out all other faiths or lack thereof from the get-go--plus I generally will not respond to a man who indicates in his "My Date" section that he does not care what faith a prospective date is. I realize that may seem narrow, but if a man is willing to marry someone who doesn't share his faith then we believe different things about marriage and scripture. A lot of my e-mails back and forth with guys has been fleshing out their faith because in the South most people consider themselves a Christian, and it can mean anything from "I was raised by Baptist parents but have never personally practiced any religion" to "I'm a good person" (not what I'm looking for, btw) to "holy roller."

Of course, faith and religion are better discussed in person, and e-mail only makes the exchange of belief more cumbersome. But most of the guys I'm corresponding with live in ATL, Nashville, or Knoxville, so it's not like we can just grab a cup of coffee and chat. So in short, if you're fairly open and not looking for someone as specific as I am (you know, a Christian faith like mine, 28-37, athletic/fit, playful, preferably really tall, educated, decent writer, funny, intelligent, and so forth) then I'd recommend Match. And really, what can it hurt? One month costs $22, and there's a few guys I'd consider meeting. One has asked to take me out, but I'm sort of dragging my feet. I think I just need to make myself do it. It's hard to get excited about someone on a computer screen, I guess.

In other news, I made cupcakes tonight for a friend's birthday. I used a Betty Crocker fudge chocolate box mix because I worked late, and I must say....from scratch is really better than this box mix. The peanut butter frosting was yummy (Cream 1 cup of creamy Jif with a stick of butter; slowly add 2 1/2 cups of powdered sugar; at the end add about 3 tablespoons of milk or cream).

p.s. I am SO thankful for the sunshine today...and that I have a job where I can put on my running clothes at 3:45 and go for a 4 mile run. My boss didn't even blink when I came in covered in sweat; he just started telling me about some research he needs.

Really really wanna zigazig ha.

2009-03-16T09:51:00.003-05:00

This was a fun exercise to get my mind working this rainy Monday morning. Hope your day is off to a more productive start!

I am…glad the sun came out for two hours late yesterday.
I think…more than I should about things I shouldn’t and probably less than I should about other things.
I know…that I have a ridiculously easy and blessed life.
I want…more despite that knowledge.
I have…a lot of recipes I want to try.
I wish…I had a trust fund and could just volunteer, bake, read, write, send people packages, and do whatever else strikes my fancy.
I hate…how broken and sinful we are.
I miss…having a best friend who lives in the same place I do.
I fear…that God’s plan might be really different from mine and that I might not like it.
I feel…relatively content.
I hear…traffic.
I smell…my gum.
I regret...very little if anything.
I love…my nieces.
I care…almost inexplicably for some people.
I always…have more ideas.
I am not…perfect.
I believe…in miracles.
I dance…poorly and infrequently.
I sing…a lot despite a severe lack of talent.

I write…some of my prayers in my journal.
I win...word games a lot.
I lose…patience with adults more than I wish I did.
I never…want to be depressed again..
I listen…half-heartedly sometimes.
I can usually be found…multi-tasking.
I’m scared of…roaches.
I read…too much on the internet.
I forget…a lot, which is why I take notes.
I just…want what I want when I want it.
I am happy about…the fact that spring weather has to almost be here.

Feel free to do this meme I found on Sparkel's blog.

p.s. I'm grateful for my friend's birthday party at the skating rink this Saturday. So excited!

"I'm on a mission, you better just listen"

2009-03-12T22:29:00.005-05:00

TC's comment as to whether Oliver and I are stuck at friends reminded me that I hadn't really updated the blog-world about that situation. And really there's not that much to say, although I guess my close friends have perhaps heard otherwise from me at times. So the bottom line is that there's been no discussion between Oliver and me about dating. We don't hang out as much as we did pre-dating (which was a lot) but see each other/e-mail/talk regularly.

I realized a few weeks ago that I was harboring some bitterness toward Oliver (and God) about the entire situation, wondering why Oliver ever asked me out; why I felt a peace about dating him when it wasn't going to work out; what changed in the week between "I want to pursue you" and lets not date; what am I suppose to learn from this and how is God using it for my good, etc. And I also have had a strong intuition that Oliver wasn't being completely honest with me, which I think bothered me even more because we were friends--not just two random people who dated for 5 weeks. And I found out last weekend (from a mutual friend who flat-out asked him what happened on his trip home) that my intuition was correct and that there was more to the story than he shared with me. While I wish he had been completely honest with me, I'm sort of relieved that my intuition was spot-on and that I know the truth and now feel more free to let it go (and not wonder what piece of the puzzle I might be missing). And I feel a bit lame that I'm still talking about a guy I dated for like a month.

Asides: I hate it when men write on their Match profiles that they are looking for a "princess" or "someone to spoil." Should I reply to a man who has a cat....and has several profile photos that include said cat? Otherwise he seems great (well except for that one other photograph...which include him and a corvette).

And here's the link for yummy chocolate cupcakes (I only did parts 1 and 2 and added crushed up Hershey's bars instead of semi-sweet chips) and Oreo cream cheese frosting.

p.s. I'm grateful that rainy weather feels like permission to lounge around more than usual. See I'm trying to find an upside to the no-sunshine forecast.....And yeah, it's FRIDAY!!

Yo, VIP, Let's kick it

2009-03-11T20:35:00.005-05:00

So just as I was crawling out of my funk, I managed to get sick. BUT not before I spent almost five sunshine-filled hours in the park on Saturday, grilling hot dogs/brats and playing kickball. And I tried two new yummy recipes....chocolate cupcakes with Oreo cream cheese frosting.

My nasty cough is fortunately fading, and I haven't had a non-stop coughing fit since Monday night. You know it's bad when you're sore from coughing. Unfortunately the excessive coughing does not seem to have resulted in more defined abs....I'm sure the box of Samoas didn't help, but I was too sick to go buy proper meals....

Random updates:

I'm going on my first mission trip this summer. Our group, which includes a handful from my church, will visit a small village in Nicaragua for a week; last year the group built a roof for the church, helped plan/participate in worship services, loved on and played with children, and provided/cooked meals. We're meeting this Sunday to begin planning what we'll be doing this summer; it mainly depends on what the village's most pressing needs are (as well as the skills of the members of our team). I booked my flight for a week earlier than the rest of the group and have found a Spanish school that can provide me with a tutor who can teach me the vocabulary, etc. for whatever I'll be doing (i.e. construction, medical, etc.) and teach me about the history and culture of Nicaragua. My Spanish is very rusty, but I think four hours/day for a week will help bring me up to speed so I can avoid using a translator.

I have two more weeks of a one month membership on Match. Nothing exciting to report. I'm probably too narrow, but why would a grown man write "how r u?" in an e-mail? Regardless of how great his profile seems, I just can't get over that lame initial impression. I'm trying to talk myself into being willing to meet a guy who is a vegetarian. Fortunately there is one guy I'm corresponding with who I might actually want to meet (without mental self-coercion), and AM he's from Chi-town.

p.s. I'm grateful for the extra hour of daylight after work. I have more energy already.

Sugar is Sweet

2009-03-02T19:22:00.012-05:00

I've gotten back into the swing of baking. I've discovered some ridiculous blogs with delicious recipes that I MUST try. My nieces and I made yummy strawberry cupcakes with strawberry frosting for Valentine's, using my former secretary's recipe; I think it's just about as good as it's going to get for a strawberry/strawberry combo. Therein lies the issue: even a fantastic strawberry cupcake cannot compete with chocolate, white chocolate, or peanut butter. To mix it up and try more new stuff, I dipped some of the cupcakes (and some marshmallows and strawberries) in chocolate and white chocolate. My nieces thought that was fun, and it was pretty good to eat too. I also tore up some cupcakes, mixed them with frosting to make a ball, chilled, and then dipped in chocolate to make cake truffles. I didn't measure anything, and they were too moist; but it's a fun idea to try some other time.

I've also recently tried another new frosting recipe--a basic chocolate ganache but with powdered sugar and butter. Unfortunately the sugar wasn't enough to outweigh the bitterness of the Ghiradelli bittersweet (dark) chocolate, so I wasn't a huge fan (although I still managed to eat a few). I paired it with a butter cupcake, which was yummy and straight out of a Betty Crocker box. My friends who are regular dark chocolate eaters really liked them.

Now I'm looking for my next adventure. Oh side note: don't eat frosting, cake mix, and a few cupcakes and then go to the gym to do a high intensity interval workout (read: sprinting as fast as you can). I felt so lucky to get out of the gym without getting sick. It must be my advancing years and/or sprinting because I've always been able to go running after eating most anything. Speaking of working out, if you're into fitness, check out my new favorite blog: Fitness Black Book. I could really do without the scantily clad and tacky model images; otherwise the site has been helpful in giving me some new ideas insofar as my workouts.

My snow day was well used. I spent a few hours at Starbucks, reading Scripture and doing part of a Bible study and praying (I know that sounds weird to do at Starbucks, but sometimes I write my prayers out and somehow often focus better in a coffeehouse than at home). Later I passed on the gym and spent some more time reading the Bible--and not just reading chapter after chapter but instead really spending a lot of time in chapter 5 of Galatians. I'm going to read it every day this week and meditate on it instead of just reading it and moving on.

In short, my winter funk is reminding me of how much I need the Lord and how I need to press in even when I don't want to....

p.s. I'm thankful for my coworker who brought back a dozen cupcakes from my favorite cupcake bakery in Nashville today! Very sweet of her and a lovely surprise. I only ate 2 and a 1/2, and this time it didn't ruin my workout afterward :)

Snow Day

2009-03-02T11:33:00.003-05:00

Last night I decided that today would be a "snow day" for me, meaning an unexpected day off from work (since there is absolutely no snow in Chattanooga). Yesterday was a hard day. I didn't want to go to church but made myself, largely because I was supposed to go out to lunch with some friends (and their brother and sister-in-law who were visiting) afterward and a little because I knew I needed to go.

My heart is so fickle. I spent Friday night, Saturday morning, and Sunday night at "Inquirers Fellowship" at my church, which is a series of classes you have to attend before joining our church. As I sat in the class Saturday morning, I was so glad to be in the Word and learning more about God. But I had a conversation Saturday afternoon that reminded me that I was pretty irritated with God and how fallen the world is. It's silly, but hearing how another "strong Christian guy" mistreated one of my friends in a dating relationship just made me mad at God and how hard relationships are. And then I realized that I had developed some expectations of God because I've been "so good" in the dating arena. Yuck.

Saturday night was suppose to be a fun night with my neighbor and Oliver, but it ended up being not fun and a lot of serious conversation (about my neighbor's struggles). I think it made my "funk" even deeper--in part because we only talked about my neighbor, and I felt very unloved--as if neither of them care about what is going on with me (as neither asked me anything about me) and that feeling reminded me of how selfish and self-centered I am. And then I realized that I really need a best friend in Chattanooga. I'm blessed with some great friends here but not a go-to best friend, and I miss that and need it.

But more than that I need my heart to be softened to the Lord and to spend some time with Him. So today I'm resting, spending time in prayer and the Word, and enjoying the "snow."

p.s. I'm grateful for the latte I will soon be enjoying and job flexibility.

I Wonder....

2009-02-19T08:48:00.003-05:00

why I struggle to focus so much of the time yet was able to read The Associate (John Grisham's newest book) Wednesday night. Regardless I'm so glad that I finally read an entire book! Only my second completed book of this year.

how it is that until today I had never known the deliciousness that is a warm white chocolate raspberry scone. And how this same bakery also sold me a dry, hard chocolate chip cookie that was seriously lacking in chocolate chips.

what I'll be doing this time next year.

if I will go on a date this year.

if I'll ever get around to writing a post about sacrifice. It's been on my mind a lot this week, but I've not been feeling very blog-a-rific...or focused.

I wonder what you're wondering.

how I missed World Nutella Day. I plan to celebrate late by creating some delicious baked good containing the yummy Nutella. I was pretty enamored with Nutella during my travels in Greece--mainly in the form of white chocolate & Nutella crepes.

if this economic "stimulus" package is just a bad joke.

if God will ever get e-mail. Seriously sometimes it'd be nice to just get clear answers on what I should do.

what my youngest niece will be like in ten years (she's five now).

if most people's "I wonder" list would be as self-centered as mine.

p.s. I'm grateful that I don't have to wonder about really serious things like where my next meal will come from, how I'll provide for my family, or my health. Silly lists and thoughts like these remind me of how incredibly blessed I am.

Products!

2009-02-09T22:10:00.006-05:00

I'm not really a product girl, but I like fun products that don't cost a lot (I love a good deal). I have long time favorites like Aquaphor (for my lips), Extra peppermint gum, and Tree Hut Shea Body Butter (Brazilian Nut or Ginger)--which I can sometimes find at Walmart or Kroger, and I've recently discovered some new favorites and would welcome comments about any of the good buys you guys have discovered.

Bi-Lo is a grocery store that's common here, and I've learned that I like its store brand brown sugar and maple syrup oatmeal (usually $1.50) more than the $3 (with a coupon) oatmeal (Quaker Simple Harvest) that I usually buy. The highlighting I subject my hair to has rendered a heavier conditioner necessary, and I now love Neutrogena Triple Moisture Daily Deep Conditioner (but only use it on the bottom half of my hair since it's so moisturizing). I'm also a big fan of Snickers Marathon Caramel Nut Rush bars (tastes like real chocolate, 21 grams of protein, 10 grams of fiber, and is marketed as a low GI food) for when I need something quick to eat--and unlike some of the other protein bars that taste good, they keep me full. I also like my new water bottle ("My glass is always half full.") from Bath & Body Works courtesy of my friend Sara.

p.s. I'm grateful that my sweet nieces are coming to stay with me this Friday & Saturday. I'm taking them to IMAX and to ride the carousel in the park two blocks away; we're making strawberry cupcakes (subject to their approval) for VD; and hopefully having a wii tennis tournament and dinner with some of my friends. Should be a blast.

p.p.s. I'm also thankful that the sun finally came out and brought warm weather with it, which meant croquet and a really fun game of kickball in the park.

Trainers, Books, and Hot Peanut Butter

2009-02-03T22:57:00.005-05:00

Since my contribution to the Super Bowl party Sunday night was suppose to be sweet, I tried a new recipe from a fun website (Nosh with Me) I stumbled upon on Saturday. I ended up making Marshmallow Crunch Brownies. I decided the actual brownie layer didn't need to be homemade and opted for the Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Chip mix; I've tried several homemade brownie recipes, and none have been significantly better than the box--so I save myself the time and money. Anyway it's a combo of brownies, marshmallows, peanut butter, milk chocolate, and Rice Krispies. Needless to say, it's rich and yummy. I'd give it 4.2 stars out of 5. I think it might would have scored higher if I hadn't licked all of the bowls and eaten so much as I baked.

I'm glad for February. January wasn't the best month ever and I'm tired of feeling moody and less than 100%. The upside has been that I have succeeded so far with my resolution not to consume diet sodas. I also gave up sweets for two weeks, which was sort of nice. I liked not having the energy/blood sugar drops that I sometimes experience after eating goodies.

Another resolution was to read two books a month. I still need to read the last 100 pages of Eat, Pray, Love and am struggling to get excited about it (I started this book last summer!). It's sort of like reading a middle aged stranger's journal, and I think 200 pages was just enough of that for me. I want the next book I read to be much better. Any suggestions?

I've learned some new things from my trainer and definitely worked out harder than I would on my own, but all in all I've been pretty underwhelmed by the experience. I've wondered if I should sit down with my trainer and talk about it, but since I only have 4 or 5 more sessions I may not bother. I think I will ask if my remaining sessions can be used in 30 minute segments since we should be able to do what I need to in that amount of time. I think he is used to working out with people who aren't serious and chit-chat and whine, so I often finish fairly early and end up doing cardio or more abs--and I can do cardio on my own and don't need to do 15 minutes of abs. Last time we did 4 or 5 sets of each exercise (because I completed everything much more quickly than he'd anticipated) and that just seems inefficient to me. Three weeks ago he reviewed my diet (and you guys can guess how poor it was, especially given the holidays; it has since improved:) and said it was fine and that I should eat 2000-2200 calories a day to meet my goal (of losing 5-10 lbs and decreasing my body fat), which I can't figure out.

He pushes eating 6 times a day, which I had been trying until last week....but I've concluded that eating 6 "meals" a day just doesn't work for me. It takes way too much thinking about food, and it sort of rendered me obsessed with eating/food/planning my next meal. Not healthy. And I've read articles and studies that suggest that it doesn't really make a substantial difference in your metabolism either. So I'm back to 3 squares a day and liking it much better (and thinking about eating a lot less).

p.s. I'm grateful that my love of running and weight lifting and experimenting in the gym (I did my first real high intensity interval training (HIIT) yesterday and loved it in that weird sort of I almost feel sick way) sort of helps balance my love of hot peanut butter mixed with milk chocolate and homemade Italian cream cake and whatnot.

It's Not About Me

2009-02-01T23:21:00.006-05:00

I began college at a liberal arts college, and I expected an "open minded" (read: liberal) environment of free thinkers. Instead I was surrounded by a lot of conservative Christians, and while I wasn't opposed to Christianity (or any other religion), I was agnostic--I didn't know if there was a God and didn't care to take the time to figure it out.

And as I observed those around me and their "virgin clubs," refusal to discuss the Bible in class (b/c it wasn't "literature to be discussed and dissected"), objections to required reading that referenced premarital sex, and the like, I determined that Christianity was about what I was not allowed to do. Not surprisingly it was unappealing to me, and I was certain that if I was ever going to seriously consider Christianity I needed to wait at least until I was at least out of college (b/c sex, drinking, etc. were entirely too fun).

I'm pretty sure it never occurred to me that Christianity isn't about me (no surprise there...I was as self-centered then as I am now)--that the Bible isn't about me or a set of moral principles I need to follow to be an adherent of the faith. As Tim Keller points out--there are only two ways to read the Bible: either as basically being about me or about Jesus. When I read it through the lense of being about me it can be boiled down to what I must do, and "as only principles of living, the Bible is a crushing burden." It's just an exhausting list of things I should and should not do.

Years later I slowly realized that the Bible isn't about me or what I must do; it's the story of what Jesus has done. "The Bible is not primarily a 'book of virtues.' It is the story of how God is redeeming us through Jesus Christ." As now that I read Scripture through this perspective, a weight is lifted. I'm so overcome by Christ's generosity--giving up everything for me on the cross--that I want to give myself, my money, and my time away. And as I reflect on His forgiveness and grace, I want to extend it to others. But in order to receive God's acceptance I don't have to do those things. Instead the gospel is "I am accepted by God through the work of Jesus Christ--therefore I obey."

Thus one of my wishes for those who aren't Christians is that they would at least understand what the gospel is--and not reject it as I did on the basis of a false premise. Christianity isn't morality. Christianity isn't about you or me. Grace cannot be earned. You don't have to do anything except believe (which I know isn't easy...it took years for me to take that leap of faith).

If you're interested in a fairly short summary of the gospel (133 short pages), check out The Prodigal God.

*All of the quotes are from Tim Keller ("Gospel Christianity" Bible study and The Prodigal God).
p.s. I'm grateful for two days of sunshine, being less sick today than yesterday, new songs, a fun Super Bowl party with friends, new recipes, and getting to see my students at PTM last week.

Apologizing

2009-01-30T16:35:00.003-05:00

I hate being imperfect and dealing with my imperfections, especially when they affect others. I hate hurting people's feelings. I hate realizing how short I fall and how this will never really change. I hate that apologizing is hard. I hate that words can hurt others so much--and that you can't take them back. You can apologize, but like with a fire, you can never completely undo the damage.

At lunch today with coworkers I made an ugly comment; I said that my (younger) boss was "selling himself as X but that I had never thought of him that way" and other words to that effect. It just came out all wrong. I realized through the course of the conversation that what he meant by X and what I meant by X were two different things and that his identity was very much wrapped up in being X. I wasn't sure if I had hurt his feelings, but I was certain I had done something wrong and that it needed to be addressed today. I've sat in my office since lunch not wanting to deal with this, wondering if I was making a mountain out of a molehill and should just let it slide, and feeling convicted that I needed to get up and deal with it. My boss just left, and I finally spoke to him as he was leaving.

It was hard and uncomfortable, and my eyes filled up with tears. He was gracious and said he was certain that it had been a miscommunication--and that his reaction was more a result of some extraneous matters, which I took to mean that he had (rightfully) been bothered by what I said and had been thinking about it. He said he appreciated me speaking to him about it, and I am grateful that I cleared the air--at least as much as possible.

I'm glad my value is not in my perfection. I'm glad that I'm slowly learning to speak less and listen more. I'm glad that I find myself in situations like the one this afternoon less than I once did. I'm glad that I realized that what I said was ugly and that my apology was well received. I'm glad that I'm redeemed and forgiven.

p.s. I'm grateful for the delicious cheeseburger I ate last night at J. Alexander's (and the lovely company).

BFF Application

2009-01-26T14:46:00.002-05:00

It's a small world, and a few months ago I realized (through a random person I sat next to at a dinner) that my friend who is serving as a missionary in Ireland has a best friend who lives in Chattanooga. I Facebooked the best friend, asking if she'd like to include anything in the package I was sending to Ireland. Turns out we share some mutual friends. Fast forward to my NYE party and the tree burning party, and we realize that we have a lot in common; she suggested that we be BFFs, and I told her I'd send her an application. I've decided it'd be fun to actually send her one at work in an official law firm looking packet.

So I spent an hour "working" this morning, and here's part of what I have so far. I welcome any suggestions.

Note: Due to the high number of applicants for this position, I will not be able to respond personally to each application. If an applicant is chosen to be my, he/she will be notified within ten business days of the receipt of said applicant’s completed application.

My love language is words of affirmation (and quality time). Therefore please describe me in the following space.

Please fill in the blanks.

“Them baggy _____ _____ and the _______ with the straps, with the straps; she turned around and gave that big booty a smack.....”

“But it’s not all that easy so maybe I should just snap her up in a ___________ ________;
Pin her down on a _____________ ____________; I am not worried I’ve done this sort of thing before.” (I’m not going to lie. If you don’t know this song, and/or do not understand why it merits repeat play and analysis you may need remedial coursework before advancing to BFF status.)

“Gather ye __________ while ye may, old time is still a-flying.....”

“Sheets of empty ______, untouched sheets of clay were laid spread out before me as her body once did. All five horizons revolved around her soul as the earth to the sun. Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn.”

“I catalog these steps now
Decisive and intentioned
precise and patterned specifically to yours.
I'm talented at ___________
Especially _________
So that my chest will rise and fall with yours.”

I like ________________ more than television.

I like ________________ more than _________________.

I have a _____________________, care about ________________________, and think it’s cool that you are ______________________________.

Identify the films from which the following quotes were taken:

(1) “I SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP OVER THE ROOFTOPS OF THE WORLD.” “They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

(2) “I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.”

How many Christian, attractive, funny, intellectually curious, socially conscious, single guy friends do you have? _____

Name five musicians or musical groups that I should check out (p.s. I saw that you like Phil Wickham....no one else seems to have heard of him, but I was hooked on “True Love” for weeks.).

How do you feel about frosting? If you need to attach photographs, recipes, or additional pages, I understand.

What do you think about praying with friends? Do you ever pray out loud with your friends?

There are ten treadmills in a row numbered in order from #1 to #10. Treadmill #2 and treadmill #8 are in use. Which treadmill would you use?

List the following people in order from your favorite to least favorite: Paris Hilton, George W. Bush, Scooby Doo, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Oprah, and Eddie Vedder.

What would you think about a guy taking you to Applebees on your first date?

Who is your favorite poet?

If you were my BFF, how many times a week would we have to talk on the phone? _______

Are there any special awards or recognition that you have received that you think may be relevant to my consideration of your friendship? Attach additional pages if necessary.

Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge? __ Yes ___No

p.s. I'm grateful to be attending my youngest niece's "Women who are important in my life" breakfast at her Pre-K in the morning. Fun!

Always Looking for a Way to Waste Time (evidently)...

2009-01-18T23:42:00.001-05:00

Start your week off with a fun time-suck :)

p.s. I'm grateful that I fought the urge to hibernate all weekend.

Triste

2009-01-13T15:14:00.008-05:00

So as I mentioned on Friday the case settled, and I felt the adrenaline leave my body and exhaustion set in. The conversation with Oliver from earlier in the week also came to mind, and I realized that I would be seeing him over the weekend after all and not having a week and most of two weekends in Texas to adjust to the idea of us not dating, etc. And I just felt sad. All week I had felt pretty peaceful about it, thinking that if we're both seeking God and it's God's will for us to be together, then we would be--and if not, the sooner we know the better--so no big deal.

But I had also been in 11/12 hour a day work-mode with a 1.5ish hour a day round-trip commute, so I hadn't really been thinking very much about it. So I decided on Friday to let myself be sad for the weekend even though I sort of felt like I shouldn't be sad over something so small, particularly when I'm so incredibly blessed. But I extended some grace to myself, slept in, and thought and prayed some (and burned 30 plus Christmas trees and dipped pretzels and Ritz crackers and peanut butter in white chocolate, which is always a good time, right?).

I realized part of my sadness was that it seemed like my friend Oliver just wasn't the same since returning from the holidays, and I was afraid our friendship was going to be pretty different post-not-dating. Since he's been one of the three people I've spent the most time with since I moved to Chattanooga that just made me angry too--like somehow a handful of dates was going to mess it all up. I also felt a little irritated with Oliver and God--a sort of what is the point of us dating for a month or so?

Anyway, my neighbor, Oliver, and I ended up cooking dinner together Sunday night and watching DPS, and it was just as silly and fun as before. I am so glad. I've missed our ridiculousness and laughter.

I still feel a bit sad, but I think it's a combination of THIS DREARY, RIDICULOUS (where is the sun??!?) WEATHER, disappointing change with respect to not dating Oliver and this case settling, and just the January blah feeling that happens most years than not.

p.s. I'm grateful that my super-fun friend Sara is staying with me three nights a week for the next four weeks as she completes some med school requirement in the area. On Saturday I had been thinking that I wish I had a best girlfriend in Chatty to just hang out with without agenda, and voila God answered my prayer (for at least the next month anyway:)

What's Wrong with the World?

2009-01-10T16:23:00.003-05:00

I just read this on Tim Challies' blog, and it is so right on that I wanted to share it with you all.

"You know the oft-told story, I am sure. G.K. Chesterton, along with other prominent authors of his day, was asked by The Times to answer this question: 'What's Wrong with the World?' His answer was beautiful in its simplicity and brilliant in its profundity.

Dear Sirs, 

I am. 

Sincerely yours, 

G. K. Chesterton"

p.s. I'm grateful that a relatively new friend sought me out today for lunch. I had thought about asking her but figured she was busy getting ready for the party and just didn't. We've spent a lot of time together in groups, but I connect best one-on-one so it was great to have that opportunity today.

This ALWAYS Happens....

2009-01-09T11:40:00.003-05:00

So after working over eleven hours most days this week and working last weekend, guess what just happened?

Yep, I'm not a trial lawyer; I'm a settlement lawyer. Because every case I've ever worked has settled. We're canceling the plane tickets, hotels, experts, media team, and so on. All of the adrenaline has left my body, and I feel exhausted and disappointed. And while this is probably the best result because trials are very expensive and juries are so tricky, on a personal level, I hate that I don't get to see all of this hard work through and participate in a trial from start to finish. I wonder how many years I'll practice law before I get to do that.

On the bright side, I now don't have to work this weekend and get to attend the (literally) party of the year. We're burning at least 20 Christmas trees and having chili up on the mountain tomorrow night. I love fire. I also think I'm going to curl up and watch my new DVD of Dead Poets' Society that a friend sent me in the mail this week.

p.s. I'm grateful that there is pretty much always a bright side of some sort. Sometimes we don't see it for years, but it seems to always be there. I'm also grateful that giving up diet soda hasn't been that hard so far. I thought I would really miss the caffeine, but so far so good.

When It Rains, It Pours

2009-01-06T21:57:00.004-05:00

So we're finally going to Austin for that trial that was continued at the last minute back in November. I leave really early Saturday morning for a week. Work is crazy, and I can't possibly do everything that has been asked of me. Yesterday I had so much adrenaline pumping through me as I rushed about that I could see my arm shaking above the keyboard. And while it feels overwhelming and a bit miserable, I'm really glad that I'm going to get to sit through an entire trial next week from beginning to end and see what all goes into such complex litigation. Plus it's going to be lots of hours, and I'm paid by the hour:)

In addition to work craziness, Oliver returned to Chatty last week, and within two days I realized something was up with him. He was calling me almost every day, but he didn't make any plans with me for the weekend. It was sort of like a 180 from where we'd left things before Christmas.

Long story short, we finally talked on Monday and for various reasons, he no longer wanted to date. I told him I was disappointed in the situation but so grateful and glad that he was telling me all of this. The conversation felt like such a relief. Knowing is so much easier to me than wondering. I left the conversation feeling so grateful for Oliver and who he is and is trying to be and so glad that Christ is my center and not this (or any) relationship. I also felt tremendously loved by my faithful, praying friends who check in with me and pray for me and send me really cool packages in the mail to be waiting at my door before a not-fun conversation. God is so faithful.

p.s. I'm grateful for TC's latest post and her wishes for me. I think that I may have to steal the fabulous idea.

I'm It...Now You're It

2009-01-04T15:07:00.003-05:00

I'm not that good about responding to being tagged, but it's a lazy Sunday afternoon and I'm trying to distract myself a bit from thinking; so here it goes.

Amy tagged me, and I am suppose to share ten things about myself that are "pretty interesting" and then tag seven bloggers to share their ten things.

1. I learned to read upside down and write with my toes in gifted class in elementary school. I subsequently told my mother that I thought gifted class was pointless and that I wanted out; she didn't agree. Back in the day, they thought your IQ changed and retested students every three or so years to see if they were still gifted. Guess whose IQ dropped below gifted range?

2. I struggle with binge eating. I can eat crazy amounts of sweets in one sitting and have a very hard time stopping once I start (I usually stop when it's all gone). I can't keep sweets in my home and at times have even avoided keeping brown sugar around (b/c I'll eat it out of the bag). It's definitely frustrating to have pretty much no willpower when it comes to this. I feel powerless.

3. I love music but because I put songs on repeat and fixate on songs for so long, there's tons of old (and current) music I am only recently learning about (thanks Pandora!) like Damien Rice, Augustana (only two good songs so far), Aqualung, and Iron & Wine. I can seriously just listen to about five songs a month and be fine. When I like it, I really really like it.

4. About 3 and a 1/2 years ago I gave up a sin that I had held on for my first few years as a Christian--and God really got a hold of me; I've changed more in these last few years than I had in all of the years before. It's been incredible and such a blessing. I had no idea how broken and lost I was--or how sweet, peaceful, and joy-filled life could be. I wasn't miserable before and life isn't a bed of roses 24/7 now, but I am so very grateful that the Lord pursued me so faithfully and that I know him so much better now--and that I'm experiencing true freedom.

5. I now use Christian jargon that would have probably made me roll my eyes ten years ago....phrases and words like "quiet time," "accountability," "witness," "time in the Word," "spiritual warfare," "the enemy," and so on. I'm almost to the point that it doesn't make me uncomfortable from time to time.

6. Taboo, Scattegories, and Catch Phrase totally get my heart rate up and raise my blood pressure. I can just feel it. I love those games. And my team dominated last night in Taboo--49 to the boys' 29.

7. My ears don't product much wax, if any, if my Q-tip is a good indicator, but I think it's cool that some people get all sort of gross gook out of their ears.

8. I've only read the Bible through once, but I'm doing it again this year with a One Year Bible.

9. I just discovered the deliciousness of black beans last year.

10. My step-sister and I have the same first name, middle name, and birthday.

So now I'm suppose to tag seven people, and since I'm not a stickler, feel free to disregard my tag. The following blogs are now tagged: Cadleized, Jennsational, Traveling Chica, Ys, Happyascanb (although I know you just did a meme so feel free to skip:), Still Just Me, and that's enough!

p.s. I'm grateful for prayer--the power of praying, the gift of my friends' and Jesus' prayers for me, and the fact that my Lord is always listening.

Something for Nothing? (Resolution Time)

2008-12-29T13:49:00.007-05:00

When I was in Costa Rica during the summer of 2004 I discovered that its versions of Coke and Diet Coke were equally watery tasting, so in order to get my daily caffeine fix I made the switch to Diet Coke. When I returned to Georgia I continued drinking Diet Coke (spiked with grenadine at first), figuring it was as good a time as any to eliminate the empty calories I consumed from Coca-Cola and not contemplating what the cost might be--or even if there was one. Since then I've moved on to Diet Coke with Lime, Cherry Coca Cola Zero, Diet Dr. Pepper, and so on, and it's seemed like a win-win proposition. I still get my soda but consume no calories.

My sister received a book named Skinny Bitch for Christmas this year, and I ended up skimming it last week. While the book resorts to gratuitous and offensive profanity, it definitely gave me a lot to think about, including my consumption of aspartame, Splenda, and other artificial sweeteners. So I've been digging around some on the internet, and I've been pretty disturbed by what I've found--particularly about aspartame.

Granted it doesn't take a genius to realize that ingesting sodas and other items containing these sweeteners (which is in a LOT of foods/gum/etc.) isn't the ideal and most healthy choice, but I had no idea how many adverse reactions and health problems are associated with the consumption of these sweeteners. Several of the side effects are things I "suffer" from, and I can't help but wonder if they'd go away if I ceased consuming it. And while I've previously read enough to know that the Food and Drug Administration is often corrupt as a result of the strong influence of lobbyists and legislators who are influenced by donors/lobbyists/and others and thus doesn't always (or perhaps ever) have our best interests at heart, I guess I hadn't given much thought to how the FDA's lack of ethical regulation might be affecting me. I hate that we can't trust that something approved by the FDA is safe--whatever that means.

So as I prepare to make some resolutions for the new year, I think ditching soda for at least a month or two may top the list; it'll be a pain, particularly since I enjoy fountain soda (with lots of lemons) so much, but I figure a month will give me a chance to see if I feel better without it. And before you tell me it's stupid to make New Years' resolutions, note that I make resolutions mid-year, monthly, and any time I want. I like resolving and setting goals and try to live at least a semi-self-examined sort of life. And with regard to my diet, I'm disappointed with how thoroughly I've accepted the way our culture eats. I've just been too lazy and complacent to do very much about it. Maybe this will be a step in the right direction because for me it's all about baby steps.

p.s. I'm grateful for fun, low-key NYE plans. We're having a progressive sort of evening with appetizers at a nearby house, dessert in the loft down the hall from me, and drinks (and hopefully fireworks which we can see from my place) at my place. No dressing up, crowds, tickets to an event with cheap liquor, lines at a bar, and hopefully no drama.

Hope

2008-12-27T12:05:00.004-05:00

Warning...you may cry, but if you need a reminder of the creative ways that we can love others check out this article about how a football team loved another team made up of inmates. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they are somebody important.

HT: Prodigal Jon

Merry Christmas to Me

2008-12-22T19:37:00.004-05:00

My firm had its Christmas dinner two weeks ago, and I was surprised (since I'm an independent contractor) and grateful to receive a generous bonus. After some thought I decided to use a little less than half of it to buy 12 sessions with a personal trainer. I've wanted to workout with a trainer for years but could never justify the splurge, so this bonus made me feel a little better about spending the money. Plus I'm not familiar with a lot of the machines in my new gym and want to learn, and since I returned to lawyer land I've gained about 7 pounds. I guess sitting on my butt all day in an office where people routinely bring in homemade cheesecake, pies, and whatnot is not conducive to healthy living. I've tried to make some changes and already do a lot of the practical things--like moving around a lot, taking the stairs, eating 5 times a day, and all of that--plus I work out consistently. So I figured it was time to switch things up, learn some new exercises, and have some push me harder than I push myself (and help keep me accountable with my eating choices which is my biggest struggle). I had my second session today, and it went well; although the trainer is going to have to step it up to really push me, which I think he realized. I think he's used to working out with people who don't already exercise fairly strenuously.

This isn't exactly the best time to be losing weight given all of the holiday goodies, but if I don't get a handle on this now I'm going to have to buy new clothes in another 5 pounds--which I refuse to do. I already can't cutely wear my favorite jeans :(

In related news, I love growing older. My life gets better with each year as I gain wisdom, understanding, patience, and understand/more fully accept Christ's love and grace. I feel like my life is much more joy-filled and drama-free. BUT I don't like this having to think about weight and eating and whatnot. Darn metabolism! I guess there are always tradeoffs....

In other news, Oliver and I had a "talk" on Saturday; I'll share the details later. I'll see him tomorrow for lunch before he flies home, so I'll let you know what I end up doing re: the gift. Thanks so much for all of your input. I love reading your thougths.

p.s. I'm grateful for a relaxed day. I decided not to work after all and enjoyed a leisurely lunch, stroll through some stores, and workout (I also made the mistake of going in the general vicinity of the mall and will NEVER put my shopping off to the week of Christmas again...miserable.)

Dating Advice Please

2008-12-18T14:50:00.002-05:00

Ok to recap....Oliver and I have been friends since August, have been on a couple of dates, and usually chat during the week at least once or twice. We're definitely not in a relationship but moved beyond friendship right about Thanksgiving.

Last week our mutual friend asked me if I was getting him a gift. It hadn't even occured to me to do so, but once she mentioned it I start thinking about it. I wish he had a big sweet tooth, and I could just make something nice like Lib's tiramisu; but alas he's not into sweets. So....(1) Do you think I should get him a gift? I think it'd be awkward to give him a gift if he's not gotten one for me. So I'm tempted to get something, and then if he gives me a gift then I'll give it to him. That may seem sort of weird, but I think it's important for a girl to not act more interested in a guy than vice versa (which is one of the reasons I don't ask guys out usually).

(2) If I get him something, what should it be? He's really into music, but he also has more than 5,000 songs, so I can't exactly go get a CD for him and avoid duplicating what he already has. He downloads illegally, which I've teased him about, so I could get him an itunes card. I sort of think that seems impersonal though. But a shirt or scarf or something like that seems generic and aren't things I could get excited about. He loves books and reading, but we've both talked about how our to-be-read stack of books is out of control. And he already has a mullet wig...so I'm fresh out of ideas. So share yours!

Oh, one thought....he has a quote from Walden on his Facebook wall, but he's never read Walden (which is one of my favorite books). So despite his stack of books to be read, I wonder if that might be a good idea, especially since we've been trading back Dead Poet's Society quotes for the last few weeks.

p.s. I'm grateful for the fact that I'm only working two days next week and get to hang out with my family in a really relaxed way.

Sneaky Skinny Jeans and Whatnot

2008-12-07T22:02:00.005-05:00

So to follow-up on this post I ended up wearing heels, black pants, a slightly sparkly gray tank, and a black long sleeve top that tied in front. I found a really fun cocktail dress, but I was cold wearing jeans, three layers on top, and boots indoors on Saturday; so I knew a dress would have distracted me from a good time. And I would have been way more dressed up than my friends, and unlike some of you who commented, I do not like being overdressed. In fact, I'd generally rather be underdressed than over--at least in social situations (professional matters are different). I think that may be an issue of pride--not wanting to look like I am trying too hard, and of course, wanting to be as comfortable and warm as possible. Oh, check out my friend's three piece corduroy suit from Goodwill. He actually wore it to work one day.

And here's my latest e-mail exchange with my dear friend Chasie who watched and advised during my fashion show of the clothes I bought/might keep on Saturday afternoon:

I wrote: Ok, so you know the skinny jeans that are thinly disguised as "barely bootcut" jeans? Another downside: if you're at someone's house and take off your boots (or at home with a cute boy and take off your shoes), you then look like a fat cow!

Those skinny jeans can't sneak one by me!

Love you,
A

Chasie replied:

Haha. I'm literally LOLing. You are hilarious. And I imagine you are absolutely correct that they don't work as well without the boots. But I'm sure you don't look like a fat cow... absolutely sure.

I'm glad you're a lawyer and smarter than skinny jeans,

youarehotevenifyoureafatcow

p.s. I'm grateful for friends who tell me I'm hot even if I do, in fact, look like a fat cow (or pear as the case may be) in sneaky skinny jeans.

If You Can? Seriously?

2008-12-07T19:33:00.013-05:00

When I have a less than stellar week I can't help but think about how good my life is because even in a bad week there's just so much greatness--you guys and your helpful comments/links to help me dress myself (will post on that later), rest, "The Resolution" by Jack's Mannequin (which helped me run the fastest three miles on a treadmill I've run in at least 2 years), my lovely Christmas tree, a visit with Chasie, and a solid group of friends to just name a few.

I think the worst part of this last week was the letter I received from Humana, denying my request for health insurance. I had a physical two weeks ago as part of their application process, and the results from my urinalysis are abnormal. I've been told by friends who know more than me about this stuff that a retest would likely render normal results (as these results may be caused the by hard workout I had the night before that the company should have advised me not to do prior to testing--or just be a fluke since my levels don't indicate any clear medical problem). SO here I sit with no health insurance, and now I have to tell other insurance companies that I've been denied by another company for abnormal test results. This health insurance drama began back in August as I tried to wade through the ridiculousness of determining what policies exclude, hide, and otherwise say to confuse their potential insureds. Granted, I should have begun this process 2 months before my other insurance ended. And I should have been more aggressive about COBRA and so on and on. But darn, I'm in shape, have no health issues (other than these new lab results), and do not use tobacco and go to the doctor once a year for my annual appointment and take one prescription drug ($29)a month. ARGH!

So this week I did have health issues (but that would not cost a potential insurer a penny!)...I had a sore throat Sunday-Tuesday and then a weird stomach bug that began on Thursday and seems to be almost over. I'm paid by the hour (which is why I have this health insurance fiasco--but also have awesome flexibility), so I tried not to stress about the fact that I worked like 10 hours this week and just rested and slept a lot. And I'm grateful to be feeling much more normal now.

A bottle of salad dressing slid out of the refrigerator and burst all over the floor.

It took me 20 minutes to find my car at the mall yesterday, and it was 40 degrees and I had lots of bags and felt like I was losing what little bit of mind I had after two days of chewing Pepto Bismol tablets and sleeping.

I spent $800 on new tires on Thursday. That's a lot of money, but it only sort of sucks since it's the first time I've had to buy tires for this vehicle, and it's over 5 years old (80k miles is pretty great).

I haven't been able to focus all week. I've been watching or rather trying to watch Freedom Writers since Monday night; now I'm about half-way finished.

Sometimes I feel like life is way too complicated. Seriously how are we suppose to do all of this? I need to find health insurance, schedule bill payments, get groceries, cook, go to Bible study, call people back, do laundry, rest, journal, read, volunteer, sort through mail and tax stuff, finish this overdue research assignment, respond to work e-mails, submit my time, take clothes to Goodwill, get the hem fixed on those pants, take my dry cleaning, and so on and so on. Am I the only person who thinks moving to another, more simple country might be the answer? Argh, instead I think I'll just listen to "O Holy Night" one more time and gaze at my tree and journal and reflect on the scripture we studied this morning.

In the ninth chapter of Mark there's a boy who suffers from muteness and seizures. His father brought the boy to Jesus, explaining the ailment and saying to Jesus "'But if you can do do anything, have compassion on us us and help us.' And Jesus said to him, 'If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.' Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"

So none of this "if" crap. I'm counting on God this week. If He can lead a sinner like me into walking with Him and rejoicing in His holiness, then He can surely help me with these feelings of being overwhelmed, unfocused, and wanting to just sleep until my to-do list does itself.

p.s. I'm grateful for the hours of laughter we shared last night. I cannot even explain how ridiculous Oliver, my neighbor, and I are when we get going, but it's just good. It's really good stuff.

Not a Girly-Girl

2008-12-02T23:31:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I think life would be easier if I were a girly girl...or rather getting dressed would be easier. I have friends who daydream about outfit combinations, wear skirts in the middle of the winter, and wear shoes that are admittedly uncomfortable. I, on the other hand, wear pajamas whenever I can get away with it and just generally do poorly in this arena.

So....my friends and I are going to a party on Saturday night that is cocktail attire, although a friend said that last year some people had on jeans. If this party were in the summer or even the early fall, I'd wear a cocktail dress. But alas the party is this weekend, and weather.com predicts temperatures much too cold to wear a dress comfortably. I realize that I will be inside and that it may be warm enough, but I sincerely doubt it. I am the girl who wears heels to work and then puts on socks as soon as she sits in her chair. I am the girl who always wants a blanket and wears her wool coat around the office for the first hour after I arrive. So what do I wear? I'm hoping some of you girly girls can send me links and suggestions. I know I'll need accessories, and I've been working hard in this department.

Times like this are the only times I miss my old (crazy) roommate. She was so good at this stuff and could use our collective closets to put together fabulous outfits in no time. I don't have her gift, but I hope one of you does! And don't get me wrong...despite wanting to wear pjs all the time and not being good at this, I like feeling and looking cute; I'm just bad at it.

Happy Wednesday!

p.s. I'm grateful that my sore throat seems to be going away.

I Belong in the Service of the Queen (or at least to go on a date, right?)

2008-11-21T10:17:00.004-05:00

I've not written about dating since my break up with Carter in June simply because there has been nothing to report. Sure I have a crush, which is exciting to me, but I'm 30 years old and probably need to stop gushing about the guy who has not asked me out (a.k.a. the crush). On the flip side, I struggle with pridefulness and thus not letting myself hope, so I think it's sort of good to crush someone (whose feelings only indicate friendship) and to hope (that maybe something more than friendship will emerge). I think there will be more on the crush next week; Accidentally Me and I may have a debate about our differences of opinion on the matter.

Speaking of Carter, he calls at least every two weeks it seems (which is less than he was calling just two months ago). I like Carter and think he's a great guy, but for whatever reason, I have almost no desire to talk to him. I've gotten in the habit of deliberately waiting days to call him back, hoping that he'll get the hint. I hope that doesn't seem ugly b/c Carter is important, but I don't want an hour long phone call/twice a month friendship with him. It makes me feel like my feelings are a bit light switch-ish, but I just don't see building some great friendship with an ex-boyfriend.

This week I went to lunch with two co-workers and met three men in passing. One was near my age; another was late 30s, and the third was 50+. Which one do you think texted my co-worker to inquire about me within minutes of us leaving the restaurant? Yep, you guessed it. The one closest in age with my father wanted to know if I were single, etc. This 53 year old seems to hate rap music, so my co-worker was going to text him back that my favorite song is the rap song about apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, which now that I have checked it out, I realize is a great song. So fun.

My (younger) boss overheard this conversation and chimed in that his brother-in-law who I was reintroduced to (I knew him as a child) this week was also interested in me. All I know about the BIL is that he's 29 and lives in my hometown. Hmm.

Thankfully I'm feeling really patient with my lack of dating and whatnot, but part of me thinks I should be making more of an effort and doing online dating like everyone else....maybe in January.

And on that note, I'm going to get to work (from a cute coffeeshop in downtown Chatty). Hope your Friday is splendid!

p.s. I'm grateful for all of your votes on the last post; it was fun to read your thoughts and to hear from some new bloggers.

Ally for President

2008-11-18T14:31:00.024-05:00

Two months or so ago we had picture day at the firm. Of course my (male) boss gave me almost no notice, so (1) I happened to be wearing a tee shirt, (2) had an overdue appointment to get my roots done the day AFTER the photo shoot, and (3) had not decorated my office yet (I need a wife). Now I'm supposed to pick a photo to go with my bio; here are a few of the thirty photos of me. Do you know how ridiculous I felt during this process? Feel free to inform me of your choice and/or make fun. The photographer can crop and sprinkle fairy dust on my pick.

Photo # 1: Your attorney is also an aspiring elected official. She loves her country!! Therefore you should hire and/or vote for her.

Photo #2: Aw how sweet, your attorney can tilt her head.

Photo # 3: You don't have a what? What does a camera lense have to do with the price of tea in China? I don't get it.

Photo #4: My arms are crossed. I mean business. Power lawyer. Or not. (That window now has drapes.)

Photo #5: Your attorney can't find a good photographer. Oh, and she works out at the Rush (see the attachment to her car keys beside her Razor).

Photo #6: The one black and white the photographer randomly threw in the mix...with my secretary's head on the left side. Nice touch.

Photo #7: Like many professionals, I often perch on the side of my desk while working. When I'm serving you, we'll be in close communication!

p.s. I am grateful for apple cider. It's finally really cold, and it's nice to drink something warm.

Smile Like the Sunrise

2008-11-17T22:13:00.003-05:00

I just deleted a few catty comments about The Hills. It's just too easy, and the real issue is why I watch it if I feel the way I do.

Is anyone else as excited as I am about Thanksgiving? Does a holiday get any better than the celebration of gratitude and food? I've already had two Thanksgiving meals this month plus my friends are having a pre-Thanksgiving meal on the Tuesday before and then two meals on Thanksgiving day....it's a lot of eating, but someone has to do it:) What does your Thanksgiving menu have to include? My non-negotiables are turkey, dressing, bread, and sweet potato casserole (with lots of crunchy brown sugar/pecan topping).

I love shopping online especially since I get free shipping at Old Navy, Gap, and Banana, but this vanity and/or mis-sizing has got to stop. I'm 5'6, weigh 130 pounds, am medium-boned, and am not flat-chested. I should not need an extra-small. I never know what to order anymore because sizes keep on getting bigger and bigger. Three of the four things I received from J.Crew today are too big (and I ordered a small). Ridiculous. Of course, given the preceding bullet that may change in the coming week:) But seriously what are my 5'2 small boned friends suppose to wear? Kids clothing? Are they going to come out with negative sizing next?

Finally I can listen to melancholy songs on repeat for days and days and not get sad. This has seriously increased the quality of my listening, and I've not busted out City High in at least 5 days.

p.s. I'm grateful for opportunities to try new things....today it was a cardio-sculpt class, my first Motion to Compel hearing, a rice-fennel dish, sweet potato bars (with cake mix, white chocolate, and oats), and some $2 earrings from Charlotte Russe.

We Flying First Class Up in the Sky

2008-11-15T00:27:00.003-05:00

I had lots of work firsts this week. Here are a few:

(1) I took a day trip to Texas in my client's plane; it was the first time I'd ever flown non-commercially, and I seriously prefer skipping (1) Atlanta traffic, (2) security, (3) parking, and (4) mediocre airplane food and service, and (5) sitting around and waiting in the airport. Having a private terminal, two pilots at our beck and call, much more space, a rental Navigator waiting 20 feet from our plane, and catered meals is really much more my style:) Ha. Downside: no restroom on the plane. There was a funnel, however, for emergencies.

(2) A client explained to me how important sex was in a marriage and how he couldn't blame his children for having premarital sex. I just listened for a while, but then of course, I opened my big mouth and said that I was cool trusting God with my future marriage (and sex life) just like I tried to trust Him with every other part of my life. I also noted that some of my married friends could vouch for the fact that premarital sex is not always the best predictor of marital sex. He told me that I was probably missing out on a lot of great future husbands and fathers by refusing to have premarital sex.

(3) I was grilled by two of my clients (and in front of my boss) about my love life or lack thereof. "How old are you? What, you're really 30?" "You really don't have a boyfriend?" "Do you realize the longer you wait, the fewer people there are going to be for you to marry?" "What are you looking for in a husband?" "Well, what else are you looking for?" "Do you realize how important genetics are?"

(4) Another client explained to my boss and me that she wasn't taken seriously by some men that we had met with because she didn't have a "camera lense." I said I didn't understand. She and my boss just looked at me. Then she said "I don't have the correct anatomy." And I said "I still don't understand." And then it hit me. Am I stupid? I never would have put a camera lense and male anatomy together on my own.

Anyway, after waking up at 4 a.m. to fly to Texas, spending the day there, returning, driving to C-town, running 6 miles, and shopping at Walmart, it's bedtime. May the weekend begin. Hope yours is delightful. And if you had any firsts this week, I'd love to read about them.

p.s. I'm grateful for 24 hour stores, so that I can get my grocery shopping over with and have food for breakfast without getting out in the rain.

Loving the Unloveable and Miracles

2008-11-11T00:18:00.003-05:00

Forcing myself to resolve conflict rather than avoid it has been one change that is partly a result of my faith; trying to love the unloveable is another slow change that has resulted from my commitment to Christ. I've had a heart for difficult children for years, but difficult adults have been another story. After all, who wants to put up with an annoying, obnoxious grown-up? Not me. It's easy to think "She has no excuse; she is an adult."

The problem is that as Christians we're called to love these people as ourselves. Unfortunately there is no caveat for those who have personalities that make us want to kick them, punch them in the face, or otherwise express our dislike. And I've come to believe that avoiding them is not always the right answer either, although I sometimes wish it were. My path has recently been crossed by someone who has been rather disagreeable. He talks too much, can be rather self-centered, is demanding and needy, and happened to drink entirely too much; on the flip side, he's straight-forward and real, game for heavy conversations, and funny. And he's also clearly been wounded and unloved and rejected over the years. His pain is obvious. We've fallen into an odd friendship that has been exhausting me. I've had to rely on God to give me strength, patience, and grace for this man. I've failed often as I've been snarky or short with him or internally ugly as I've encountered him one too many times in a week. As I've considered why my time with him is sometimes so frustrating, I realize it brings out some of the worst in me---my impatience, intolerance, selfishness, and arrogance. I hate being confronted with the sin that festers in me, and I hate that because of this man others are seeing it too. God has been stretching me, and it's uncomfortable.

At the same time, it's gratifying as I've probably never had anyone be so grateful for my friendship. I'm not sure many people have felt as loved by me as this man has. And last week my prayer (and many of my friends') that this man would know Christ was answered, and I've never seen such a quick and radical transformation in another person. His misery and bitterness has seemingly overnight been replaced with joy and hope. It's been incredible, and honestly I've had a hard time believing it. Isn't it crazy to pray for something big and then not believe it when it happens? As much as I want to believe in a God that big and powerful, this experience has shown me that I'm not quite there yet.

p.s. I'm grateful for coffee...the different flavors, decaf, the feeling of holding a warm cup in my hand, the way it makes a conversation even better, and the romance of it all.

Conflict Resolved

2008-11-05T22:52:00.011-05:00

For at least the past ten years one of my struggles has been how I handle interpersonal conflict. I'm often tempted not to handle it and/or let it eat away at me to the point that it's my primary focus. It's seemed odd to me that this is so difficult for me given that (1) most people regard me as a straight-shooter who calls it like it is and (2) I'm an attorney and have generally been happy to go to bat for others and with regard to non-inter-personal things like consumer issues, etc.

Over time I've realized that there are several obstacles between healthy conflict resolution and me. Carter pointed out one issue--some of my early attempts at handling some family matters blew up in my face and were very painful and disappointing, thus it's logical that I avoid it now. For years I struggled with the sadness associated with this conflict and finally dealt with it in college with the help of a therapist. At the end of therapy, I spoke with the family member about how difficult it had all been for me, and I was given the awful "I'm sorry you feel that way" line which basically just means "whatever." Needless to say that negative experience helped make me gun-shy.

I think another obstacle is my pride. I hate needing anyone, being vulnerable, and admitting that I may have (gasp!) illogical feelings. After all a dispute with AT&T over a phone bill isn't going to cause tears, pain, or require that I admit that I'm hurt--that you can hurt me.

So over the past few years, I've forced myself to tell people when they hurt my feelings. It's been challenging for me, but I think I'm so much better for it. And it's getting easier.

This latest conflict was something that I would have ignored in the past--and just resulted in me avoiding the offender, but given that I'm trying to live in Christian community and do unto others as I'd have them do unto me (and Lord knows, I hurt people's feelings without realizing it and need to be told so I can avoid it in the future), I confronted him about his unacceptable behavior. We had a good conversation, and he took complete responsibility for his actions (and even contacted my friends who were there to discuss it with them) and asked for my forgiveness. So now I've yet another positive experience with conflict resolution.

In other news, we had a fun Halloween party on our roof last week complete with a fire. Not many people get to have fires on their roof:) Here's my best pirate face. Unfortunately the roof was too cold to wear my pirate skirt (and really do pirates wear skirts?). I also drank my very first po'mosa (poor man's mimosa--Miller High Life & orange juice....and surprisingly not bad, particularly since I hate beer). Saturday was a trip to Nashville with friends to see William Fitzsimmons in concert, play frisbee in the park with Brian, and have dinner (and yummy mojitos) at Rumba with Isabella and Chasie. Fun, fun, fun!

p.s. I'm thankful that my boss offered to let me stay at his mountain cabin (complete with a waterfall in the backyard!) this weekend.

It's Monday...

2008-10-27T11:25:00.002-05:00

and somehow a really great weekend only makes it more difficult to return to the working world (and further reiterates my desire to have a large trust that would not necessitate gainful employment). But at least I was greeted by this Facebook friend request this morning:

"Ms. Esq it's 3:00 am add me to your list or else! I find threats to be very effective. Btw I do know where you stay ho, so add me!!!!!!!!!!!!!111.".

How can that not make me smile?

In other news, I made the best cupcakes I've ever created for my friend's birthday on Friday. Chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting (I could just about live on these they were so yummy)--and for the more traditional eaters, I made butter cake with cream cheese frosting. We celebrated her birthday with a dance party, which slowed down when a cop showed up around 1:30. It was so much fun to dance at someone's house without the grossness that usually accompanies a good booty shaking (Although I did have a guest very inappropriately hit on me, for lack of a better way to put it, and for the first time instead of avoiding the person, I'm going to talk to him about it. He needs to realize how incredibly unacceptable his conduct was, and since we attend the same church I feel more of an obligation to confront him. Not looking forward to this conversation).

Since I didn't go to bed until 6:00 a.m. I slept in, and then we went hiking and watched the paragliders take off and fly around like birds. Gorgeous day, leaves, views. Ended the day with dinner with friends and more late night conversation--this time curled up on the balcony under blankets. It's a good life.

p.s. I'm grateful for my family's visit on Friday. Took my nieces to the Discovery Museum, and my mom and sister made major headway in decorating my apartment while we were gone. I am soooo glad to finally have some of that done; I like what we did with my hall so much that I might even post photos.

Continued...as usual

2008-10-20T10:28:00.003-05:00

So I'm not in Austin right now. The other side made (another) last minute motion for a continuance, and it was granted. We've been ordered to mediate, but if we do not settle we'll be headed to Texas in January. This ALWAYS happens. People ask me if I'm a trial attorney, and my response is that I would be if anything ever went to trial! Seriously pretty much every single case I've worked on has settled. And really, I don't want to partake in the trial (I just want to watch:). Oh well, the upside is that I took Friday off and enjoyed a leisurely long weekend. Friday was gloomy, but Saturday and Sunday were absolutely glorious. Sunny and cool--the sort of day that must be enjoyed.

I've not thought much about blogging lately. I've pretty much always loved music, but I'm in a particularly intense music phase right now, meaning that there's so much I want to listen to that I'm foregoing working, television, talking, and blogging to do so. Pandora, Ilike, Myspace, and my boss are supporting the habit. My boss brought me a burned CD (Iron & Wine, Thad Cockrell, and Caityln Crosby) on Thursday and suggested that I put itunes on my work laptop, so that we can share music through our network. Gotta love that sort of boss. I'm listening to some of the usuals and have added Matt Nathanson, Augustana, Future of Forestry, and some others to the list too. I ended up with about 7 people at my place Friday night after dinner, and a few of us just ended up around the computer sharing random new artists for hours. I finally went to bed at 4:30. Throw in some dancing on my coffee table to Usher, conversation about Walden, discussion about how you shouldn't let Christians ruin your potential relationship with Christ, and nachos, and it was a fine evening.

Hope your weekend was equally as lovely. Happy Monday!

p.s. I'm grateful for haircuts. They make me feel so clean and fresh, and you can't beat the value of an $11 cut at Great Clips.