"It's Just Like You'd Said It Would Be"

"Lord Jesus Christ, I admit that I am weaker and more sinful than I ever before believed, but, through you, I am more loved and accepted than I ever dared hope. I thank you for paying my debt, bearing my punishment and offering forgiveness. I turn from my sins and receive you as Savior. Amen."

This is my prayer today but lifted from Tim Keller.

p.s. I'm grateful for answered prayers. My mom called this morning, and my grandfather stopped breathing last night. He's non-responsive and on a respirator now, but they'll remove it soon; he's expected to die within minutes of doing so. My prayer through all of this with Papa has been for the Lord's mercy, and I feel like God has answered that prayer with this peaceful, calm death for Papa. Praise God; He is so faithful.

"Now if she does it like this, will you do it like that?"

* "Shake It" by Metro Station has been on repeat for the last week. I can't help but dance.

* I think Clay and I have been on about 25 dates now, and it's been 90 days since our first date. He's crazy thoughtful and kind--flowers for no reason Monday night, a happy day card under my windshield wipers this morning (we're neighbors), and last week while he was in Vegas he asked me to look in the cabinet above his coffee maker--voila, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of marshmallow fluff, a 4th of July card, and Starbucks caramel macchiato truffles. He's been a real bright spot in what's been a less than ideal summer, and I'm really grateful for him.

* The lab results were negative for bacteria and parasites. I am, however, still getting sick several times most days. I thought I was on the mend after having two good days, but then my symptoms came back. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow to see what the next step is and am trying not to be too whiny about it since in the grand scheme this is so incredibly minor. It may sound dumb, but I'm so tired of not wanting to eat (b/c I know I'll get sick) and not being able to work out (b/c I think it's a bad idea given how often I get sick); those are typically two of my favorite things to do :)

* I booked a round trip ticket to Los Angeles today (for $200) to meet Ella who I've known through the blogosphere for 3 years now! Exciting! I'll head out her way in mid-September.

* I'm finally reading The Shack.

* My grandfather is still in cardiac-ICU and stable but obviously not doing well.

* My sister is pregnant with baby #3, and I'm so excited. So are my nieces. Can't wait to meet this baby; due date is in January though, so we've got a while.

p.s. I'm grateful for Panera cinnamon crunch bagels with honey walnut cream cheese and *peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches on white bread grilled in butter; somehow these two meals don't seem to make me sick and sound appetizing.

Cupcakes, Parasites, and Sunshine

Warning: If you're squeamish or say "TMI" a lot, you may not want to read this post.

It's been a crazy month with lots of good and not so-good things. As you guys know, my grandmother unexpectedly died a month ago. A week later I left for Nicaragua for two weeks. While I was in Nicaragua, I was sick for three days with diarrhea, and my grandfather (the widow) was admitted to the hospital and ultimately placed in cardiac ICU. When I returned from Nicaragua I tried working for two days, accomplishing little with constant calls and updates about my grandfather (and I drafted a will and various documents for him), so I headed to Macon to spend two nights there and be with my mom and aunt and visit with Papa. It was wonderful to be with them, and although I'm not paid when I take time off from work, I am so grateful to have a job where I can take time off to take care of much more important things. As for Papa, long story short he ended up having open heart surgery (and surprisingly surviving it thus far) and is currently stable.

My birthday: When I left my loft at 7:30 I found flowers and a beautiful box of a dozen cupcakes from my favorite bakery--Gigi's which just happens to be two hours away in Nashville--outside my door. Delighted, I headed back inside to begin tasting the assortment and packing up a few for my office. That evening Clay gave me a card and gift card to a spa; needless to say he really helped start my day off right. That night some friends, Clay, and I had dinner, then joined another friend on my roof for a delicious dessert she'd made for me, complete with singing, candles, and a Spanish birthday card involving a hamster.

Unfortunately my birthday marked the day the Nica sickness returned in full force, and I've been pretty constantly sick since then. Last night was so miserable that I made a doctor's appointment and am now doing a three day stool study, which is every bit as fun as it sounds, to determine if I have a parasite or bacteria. Please pray that it's bacteria because a parasite will be much more difficult to treat and get rid of (plus it's super gross to think about).

p.s. I am thankful for my Dad who I didn't do a very good job of celebrating this year but love very much. I'm also grateful for sunshine and the above-ground pool on my roof. It's such a perfect way to spend an afternoon.

The Birthday Girl

Hi everyone— I am Ally’s friend Allison, also known as A2, and I am hijacking Ally’s blog to wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I knew that all of Ally’s faithful readers would want to know that today is her birthday and have a chance to leave some fun birthday comments.

Ally is a dear friend of mine. I have known her for about a year and a half, and I am so thankful that God brought her into my life. I admire the way she lives out her faith every day with sincerity and enthusiasm. Ally has a love for life and people. She lives with an energy and spontaneity that draws people to her. As you all know, she is an excellent communicator. Her blog posts always bring a smile to my face.

Ally, thanks for being an amazing friend, blogger and person. I know that God has great things in store for you this year. I love you—thank you for being my friend!

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

P.S. Ally usually ends with a “grateful P.S.” On that note, I am sure Ally is grateful for the fun birthday surprise left at her doorstep this morning. I will let her share more about that later…since I want to hear the story too!

Processing

I wish life had a pause button, so I could have ample time to reflect and process without missing anything new. I've yet to take the time to adequately formulate my thoughts on my time in Nicaragua. I know I'm glad I went, but I want to think through some things before I say much more than that. My grandfather (who was widowed a few weeks ago) has been in the hospital in Macon since last week and is in intensive care, and I returned to work today after being gone 15 days...and am contemplating heading south to see him. Life feels really busy...and full...and good. God is providing all around me, and I'm grateful that I see that.

On Friday each child received a Jolly Rancher, and the little girl in the photograph with me came running to find me--and handed her Jolly Rancher to me. That may not sound like a big deal, but in this community children never receive candy (or much of anything material). She was so glad to have something to share, and it made me wish that I had a heart of that sort of gratitude, rushing to share something I've received instead of holding it so closely--finding more joy in having something to give to others than in possessing something new.

This is the pastor of the local church and his wife Lorena; this is how they get to the closet town with a store. Their daughter often rides on the same bike with them.



p.s. I'm grateful for friends...friends who welcome me back so warmly, who want to hear about my experience, who take papers to the hospital for my grandfather when I can't, who ask me personal questions because they care and want to help my grow in my faith, who text me randomly, and who obviously love me.

One look at you and I can't disguise....

Child's Day was a lot of fun, and the children begged me to take their photographs. I was happy to oblige. They're beautiful, especially when dancing (and man, they can shake it) and hitting the pinata.

My teacher and I had my lesson in the afternoon and traveled by miserably hot public bus to Playa del Coco, which was so beautiful that I managed to get over the hour long ride. I must admit that I've wished I were home. I am pretty exhausted most of the time--probably from the constant heat and sweating. With that being said, I think coming a week early and learning about the culture, history, and language of Nicaragua was a good idea...for the most part, and now that I'm with my team I feel renewed. I'm sure my first shower with hot water in over a week helped...and bed with non-scratchy sheets and just being able to leave my valuables unlocked in my suitcase. I'm excited about meeting the folks in the village who we've been praying for and wanting to meet for months. Today we're visiting an orphanage, which is a first for me.

In case you're wondering, I'd recommend Nicaragua for an adventure but probably not for a vacation unless you want to shell out a good bit of money for American-priced hotels and transportation. Of course, if you're with other people, it's much easier to afford since you can split the costs, etc. It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Happy domingo amigas!

Today's lyrics are courtesy of the Managua airport, which I sat in for about 6 hours yesterday waiting for various team member flights and readaing Blink.

p.s. I'm happy for huge waves, avocados almost as big as my head, chubby babies, and all the other beautiful things created by God.

"It's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away"

Yesterday I completed my very first Crossfit WOD (workout of the day) at the nearby gym Buena Vida Fitness Centre, which has no a/c and rendered me a completely sweaty, red-faced mess (Cici my face was redder than yours has ever been!). I bought a three day pass for $12, which is a bit expensive, but I really miss exercising and feel like running on the streets here would garner even more unwanted attention. Plus I've seen that crazy guy twice and don't want any more run-ins with him. Despite the heat, the gym seems great, and the owner walked me through the exercises, which was super helpful since I likely would have flaked out without the attention.

San Juan del Sur has ended up being a great little beach town to spend this week (sort of the third world version of Tarifa, Spain), and I´m grateful for the hours with my tutor and to do homework and relax by the pool.My tutor has continued to inform me of all sorts of things, covering sex, among other things, today. Tonight I ran into my Canadian friend at a restaurant on the beach, and we enjoyed some Nicaraguan dancing and music. Tomorrow morning I´m going with my teacher to the local public school for a fiesta....to celebrate Child´s Day (sort of like Mother´s Day I guess), then I´ll try to sit through three hours of tutoring; but the heat is so intense that you really need to be near a fan or a/c, which my school doesn´t have, or in the swimming pool. Maybe I can convince my teacher to join me at the pool. Hopefully this week will prepare me for next week (when we´ll be outside all day in a small village doing everything from construction to playing with children).

I´ve been thinking about my favorite things about Nica, and the colorfulness of the buildings--and even garbage bags--sticks out. I mean why have a brown garbage bag when it could be hot pink, right?

In other news, Clay and I have been g-chatting and emailing every day, and I miss him. Thankfully he won´t be gone the week after I return after all, but it looks like he´ll be in Asia for most of July. Oh well, absence seems to be making the heart grow fonder.

Remember today´s lyrics? Sinnead O´Connor brought to you courtesy of a pizza place here in San Juan del Sur.

p.s. I´m grateful for the delicious shrimp ceviche I had for dinner. It´s Pedro´s, the boy I sponsor through Compassion International, favorite meal, so I wanted to have it Central American style to get a better idea of what he loves so much.

"Honey came in & she caught me red-handed"

Tutoring began yesterday, and it was a lot of information! I am enjoying learning about Nicaraguan government, history, and culture. I spent two hours doing homework yesterday...only to learn this morning that I'd done my homework for the entire week! Oh well...fortunately I brought a great workbook.

Entonces yesterday I made a brilliant discovery! There's a really nice, expensive hotel here called Piedras & Ojos that stands in sharp contrast to my hotel--Hotel Joxi,which costs $15 a night and includes a private bathroom, bed with scratchy sheets, insects, and fan and a/c. Unlike my modest lodgings, Piedras & Ojos has a pool or three. So I climbed up the hill yesterday to check it out. I felt obliged to buy a Coca Cola Light and spent two hours at the pool. I headed back today for my first good meal since arriving here (most of the restaurants here are catering to cheap tourists and serve nachos, pizza, etc.) and spent almost four hours beside the infinity pool. It's clean, safe, and I don't have to worry about waking up to find a man standing above me, trying to sell me stuff. So yeah for relaxation!

Today's lyrics are from Marie's Bar where I had the worst nachos of my life. Marie's Soda, however,makes their tortillas on the spot, thus serving some super yummy nachos. I've yet to find my beloved plantains but vow to do so before leaving San Juan del Sur.

p.s.I am so grateful to have three hours a day with a Nicaraguan tutor. I can (and have) asked her all sorts of random questions. I learned today,for example, that the president's wife does not shave under her arms and has quite a bit of hair there--and that the machistos really like it. Tomorrow she's taking me to the local school to check it out, and I'm taking them the supplies my mom bought for me to share. Fun!

"Put your hand in my hand baby, don't ever look back"

Today's lyrics are brought to you compliments of a bus that is a slight step above a "chicken bus" in the Nicaragua transport system.

Nicaragua is bright, colorful, sticky, and relaxed. I´ve yet to bathe (correctly figuring there was no point) and am glad for all of the baby wipes my mom packed in my bag. I was so squished on the last bus I took that at one point that I thought I was going to get sick, then a guy groped my butt several times before I realized what he was doing. All of that being said, I am grateful I didn´t take the shuttle and soaked in all of the nuances of the culture here. I mean...who knows if the shuttle would have been playing Richard Marx, Roxette, Starship, and Lionel Richie? At some of the stops vendors would squish through those of us standing in the aisle, propping goods on their heads. If you order a drink, they pull out a plastic bag with ice in it and dump the bottled drink in the bag, tie the top of it, and insert a straw. I guess it´s a bit like the concept of a Capri Sun. They looked yummy, but I´d been warned about the water and feared the ice consumption.

I gave up that fear, however, to have a pina colada after I had a really scary experience near the beach in San Juan del Sur. I ventured out with my mom's very expensive, fabulous camera around my neck, which I will not do again, and as I neared the end of the main drag a white guy started screaming at me in English and Spanish. He called me a "puta" repeatedly, which is the Spanish word for "whore" and that was just the beginning of the nastiness. He told me how he'd rape me, etc. I ignored him completely, and he finally stopped walking.

Other than him and the groper on the bus, I've met some lovely people. I chatted with a sweet Nicaraguan lady on my first bus. At a middle of nowhere sort of bus stop, I met Alberto while I waited. He was a blessing because he fought off all the taxi drivers. Alberto is an aspiring English speaker, so we had about 20 minutes to practice our respective second languages with each other. On my last leg of the journey I invited a couple to join me in my cab. Turns out the girl was recently in a new friend's wedding! Yep, the husband sat next to me at game night on Friday, and 48 hours later I'm setting next to one of the bridesmaids from his wedding in a cab in Nicaragua. It's a small world.

p.s. I'm grateful that I had so many opportunities to use my Spanish today, had some beach time, and have had much desired reading time.

"It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without"

It is 5:20 a.m. and already daylight here in Managua. I arrived around 9 p.m. last night after uneventful travel, although I did feel really anxious on the way to the airport. I ended up bringing a bit of work with me and being reminded several times over the past few days of what I hate about litigation. So much of it is unpredictable, and of course, it and deadlines stop for no one. But my anxiety seemed more related to visiting somewhere new--alone. I guess some of what I have read about the frequency of thefts here and the importance of being hyper-vigilant combined with my lack of preparedness and really just the adventure of a trip like this when traveling and planning alone rendered me a bit nervous on the drive to the airport.

Thankfully I arranged a shuttle from my hostel before arriving in Nicaragua, so I was greeted by a young boy holding a sign with my name after grabbing my bags (note I had to check 2 bags simply to avoid exceeding the 50 pound weight limit...oh well at least now they are combined into one). The shuttle was $15 and well worth it, especially since it was dark when I arrived. My private single room (without a restroom unfortunately) at Managua Backpackers Inn is perfectly adequate (with free internet and a fan in my room that made it cool enough), and Michael here has been very helpful. He arranged a cab to pick me up in a few hours to travel to the microbus station where I will arrange transportation to San Juan del Sur. I am generally not a taxi taking sort of person, but everything I have read about Managua has convinced me not to walk or take the bus.

Recognize the lyric? It´s what the shuttle driver was listening to on our ride.

p.s. I am glad my anxiety was fleeting and that I have enough adventurous spirit to do things like this. I realized last night what a gift it is to experience so many new things in just a few hours.